Work In Progress

All the bad wishes I have placed on other people's heads
Have come back to weigh my shoulders down
My memory is my curse
I can not forget
these long cold morning
And dark evening drives
Give me to much time to reflect

All I Could Be

If I was a better artist
I could write you the poem I have in me
It would bring years back to us
But I'm a bad poet
Stumbling over my own pen
Your silence is deafening
But I am frightened that your words are more dangerous
If I was a better storyteller I'd write that classic love story about two people
But my manuscripts are just a few pages in a notebook
Shoved in a drawer
Forgotten
This self imposed amnesia is failing me
If I was a better lover...
I wouldn't be so hard to love

On The Ropes

Big orange moon
Are you here to harvest me
It's been one of those days
When I just can't win
But I get up again and again
A prize fighter that won't stay down

I'm Not Climbing Them Now

New car driving
Striving
For something better
That American Dream
Everyday I promise myself I won't think of you
And everyday I stumble and fall
And picture you and your beautiful face
But that's my tree to climb
Like Marvin Gaye said
When did you stop loving me
When did I stop loving you
It's cold here in Pennsylvania
Not like southern winters at all
Everyday I stumble and fall on my promise to forget
Climbing trees has become a interesting hobby

Fate

It's hard
Learning to forget
When it should have been you
And it should have been me
I could say that until I'm blue in the face
But it wouldn't change a thing
Other than making me light headed
It's hard to forget
I could never ink my skin enough to erase you from my heart
You rewrote the book of me
I gotta be ok with those chapters
There are days when I miss days
It's hard learning to forget
Love stings true love stings

Masonry

My father is a man of brick
Stone and mortar
My mother
a woman of pure raw emotion
I am a product of that poisonous union
A man-child constantly at war with himself
Full of angels and devils
Pushing skyward and pulling ever down
I feel but can not empathize
This is the way of my world
I build walls and dare you to tear them down
Then curse you when you do

Poor Attempt At A Love Poem

If I could take all my love for you
And send it out through cell waves
Or push it through Internet code
If I could wrap it up in a polka dot bow
Show it to you in technicolor dreams
I would do all those things
My words fall short
And my heart bursts some days
I'm am full of smoke and ghosts
And smoldering love that burns

Used Parts

I fall asleep in my bed and
Wake up in another place and time
I don't know if I am living in a dream
Or dreaming my life
I wait for your kiss or your call to wake me
These ragged poems go round and round
I'm never going to get beyond this
My love is stuck in the past
I am damaged
Used parts
I fall asleep in a dream and wake up in my bed
Not knowing if I am dreaming or just going through the motions

Amperes

These dreams haunt me
Electric ghosts screaming through the night
Creatures of days gone past
I once was your heart
On fire with passion
Burning and running wild across fields
Now threadbare and shivering in self made coldness
Sky below me I turn in orbit free of gravity
These dreams haunt me
Your ghost
Electric and living
Laughing
Smiling
Never for a second missing my touch
My words
I can not turn off the switch and stop the deluge
It wrecks me
These days that fill me
And will continue
Until my electric current runs dry

Earth Beneath Me

The dying plants on my front porch mark winters oncoming march
the passing of another year
Tinkering in my cold basement
I fail at building time machines
There are spare parts everywhere
And bits of my broken heart mixed with the frayed wires and greased gears
Hours tick by as I try to rewind days
The principle players in this play have moved on to other roles and I'm stuck in my best part
Unable to learn new lines
I stay frozen in time while the world moves on
What a headache
What a dull dream
To know I am not the doctor
Or the dashing hero
Just the tragic poet
In his basement
Trying desperately to rewind

Jupiter Saturn and Me

Planets orbit my head
My eyes are filled with stars
Mouth full of moons
I know you only as constellation
And heartbeats heard through deep space networks
I am godlike
Full of love for you
Hands open and waiting
Heart burning ash in my chest
Comets are my teardrops
Fiery trails down my face
I write poetry in the stars
Trace thoughts with my fingers
In asteroid belts
Muse oh muse
How can I forget
When I still dream even here in cold space

Frost Bite

Winter breaks my bones cold
She scatters them like leaves across my back yard
I drive far each day so my son can have nice things
Drive ribbons broken across warm concrete
Those drives fill me with song
Can you remember those titles I would write on plastic for you
So happy now is how I picture you
So free and far
Jack knows and Tom too
Charles knew
What this feeling is
I saw him cry once on film
Reading a poem about a girl he loved
Winter makes me think
How you changed me inside
And how I often feel like that
I should thank you for that I guess

Self Reflection

I am a worrier
I worry about every second
Of every minute
Of every day
I have tried meditation
And medication
Other and various form of sedation
But nothing helps
I worry about you
And if I will see 50
I worry about every penny in my pocket
Some days I can't sleep
Or eat
It's who I am
And no one really understands it
That my belly churns
Or my thoughts run on and on
I worry about things I can't possibly control
There is no inner peace for me
That's why I find happiness so hard to grasp
Because I would worry if it was real
It's a sickness
And I worry about this sickness
It eats me up
But keeps me sharp
And always ready