Astronaut's Fear of Love

I'm scared to
blow this ember
into a flame
Afraid that it
might burn my
soul too badly
this time

But last night felt
right
for the the first time
in a long time
I could smile
without forcing it

And even though
I only laid
beside you for
30 minutes
I've been walking on air since

And then I remember
it was all a dream
As my capsule rockets
effortlessly through
the cosmos

Hyde

I push my pen forward
to leak out these feelings so
they don't boil over inside
you can feel me
I know you can
on the edge of your seat
waiting for something...
Something I can't see
only feel
and I can no longer tell
if the world is real
or just in my head

roter Tinte

I awake to the red ink in my eyes
and it draws me up and out of bed
out of my dreams
that are laced with memories
and laughter

Ifrit

Time to sit and plan
out this machine
blueprints that have
been drawn out
to help
put this black hole
to rest

genie grant these last wishes
so that time
has no bearing on
this vessel
time has no
power
time loses
meaning
and
melts
to clarified butter

all these dreams
all these waking dreams
walking dreams

Banshee

Your ghosts
still try to
cling to my mind
and scream in the night
Poof
I blow you from my memory
like ash from my hands

Wednesday

He said that he could
eat all the stars from
outer space and his
hunger still would not
be satiated
and he reached out
and plucked one from
that clear night sky
a little sparkle
of light in his fat fingers
and placed it on his
tongue
smiled and then it was gone
the Universe shuttered
a bit
shifted to the North
and settled itself
This comic thing
speaks with the power
of a million burning
Suns
that he eats from
the night sky
before he sleeps in the
Dreams of children

Menispermum

What were those
words
that you said tonight
when I was out swimming in the nebula
what thing did you throw out there
while i was spring boarding off the moon
crashing down from the vacuum
I ache in the darkness
and maybe I do radiate some toxin
but it's only because the cosmos
has infected me with its
beauty

The Bottom

Rising from the ashes
there is no where to go but up now
so time to shake the newness
from these wings
and take flight

Today, As In Right Now

I tried not to do this
but tears are falling
i didn't want to cry tonight
but bad dreams
          bad dreams
      bad    bad dreams
and thoughts that push
to the front..memories
and dark things in shadow
  I tried not to       do this now
when so much time       has passed
and I had built a steel wall around
my chest
we use to be alright
what happened
     bad dreams
and an      abyss that beckons like
a cheap motel whore from
her doorway
what happened
       bad bad dreams
we use to be..
        we use
my chest aches
physically aches
I tried not to do this
tears

Dream #564

The sun crests over a hill
of avocado green grass
some where white hares
move closer to their burrows
the air has gone quiet
the rustling of spring winds
moving like invisible scythe
through the ocean of avocado
black ears and glass eyes
peek out
frozen against a rail gray
sky

Yawn

it wants to be filed
away under some
obscure science
that nobody ever
studies or even really
thinks about
that is where it feels
safe and content
among dusty pages
and ideas that
were made inert
by the coming of some new
machine or piece of
plastic
or just by leaps
of man made thought
it wants to crawl into the
past and disappear
like forgotten Gods
who wilt away
in their seaside caves
with no more incense to wake
a hunger in their
leathery bellies
this thing wants to
sleep these old ideas want peace
but Man keeps digging
and someday
things will end as abruptly
as this poem

Arcturus

moons see clearly
that the stars are so
far away
from each other
like you and I
we have very
different ideas
about all this
solar systems apart
not even in
the same galaxy
you made that clear to
me tonight
and I can barely
see your Red Giant
shining from here
on my
White Dwarf
it's a pity
space is cold

Saturday Boredom

There is a desire
to step through
the mirror
and live in a
World
where all is
reversed

But there is also
a fear
that I might
encounter my
mirror image there
and find that the
world likes
the mirror Me
very much...

And what would that
say about the real me
or
am I the mirror image
and He is the true Nathan

I feel like
that would explain
an awful lot...

Demigod

I awoke today
to find I was a star
or part of me was a star
far off
tens of thousands of years away
I could see you all
live and blink out
walking through folds
in Time's curtain
I could feel
my radiation
pulse way off in the void
but i still
taste wine
I still kiss salty lips
it's just a tiny part
of me
way out there in space
warming moons and satellites
and if you look
in the right place
at the right time
you can see my star
twinkling in the
warm suburban night
and in my head
I can see infinity

Just Gone

These streets
these southern streets
that scrub your
memory away
like steel wool
blood flows
pumping harder in
unstable veins
these streets
take the pain away
with their pools
of light every
30 feet
these streets
these southern streets
that wash clean
with July thunderstorms
that wash you away
until there is nothing left
to
hold on
to

Slipping Skyward

It's hard
making it
in today's
world
So many things
to distract us

too many prophets
calling for the
end of time
too many places
to place our
hope
our dreams

It's hard walking
streets and not
fearing the bullets
or the knives
or the devil in
their eyes
or nothing in their
eyes at all

Old Man Seizure

I thought I put
you to sleep for good
but
today you reared your
ugly head
and I bumped mine

And now I'm all
dizzy
and my vision is
screwy
hazy
I know you are
never going to let
me
live in peace
you will
always
be there to take
just a little piece of me

I hate you

Yet I Still Breathe

I am not
me anymore
or the me
before that
one
yet I still breathe
I'm lost to
you now
too distant
a memory
floating just to
the left
of starlight

My voice is not
my own
the words that
escape my mouth
come from some
other place
some other
mind

I'm ether
to all of you
  miss me
 please
it will at least
make whoever is in charge now
smile...

Modern Drug

plastic and
micro-processors
and  modems
hard drives
magnet bits
that spin
ones and zeroes
1 0  1   10  010  11
wires that feed
into machines
that output
data to
fill heads
with  magnet
bits
and   sound   bites
filth
and redemption
all  man made
    all    smiles
all     pretty
pretty

Headache

I cried myself
dry
and made my
head hurt
red eyes
dizzy mind
confused heart
deaf ears
tired lungs

I'm too much like my Mother
they tell me

Sunlight
burns
my pale
skin


like a half breed
vampire

Afraid of
his monster
but still
lusting the blood
the taste of skin

Untitled # 25

You have become a ghost
to me
even though
I know you
still breathe air
and consume water
you have become
a whispered voice
echoing in my ear
A dream
A memory
A lingering touch

You have become a ghost
to me
even
though
2 miles away
you sit
watching television
with you head in your hands


dreams
            dreams 
                                     dreams

Right Now

phantom fingers
reaching in
to slide over
the brain
feeling far
off
distance and meaning
i can travel time
that secret is
nothing new
you have become
ether
lost to the
static        and
the cell waves
faint on the corner
of some bright
horizon       faltering
wavering
like mirage lakes
on summer streets

funny how
it all comes back up
and then running out
on a Thursday night
and There are thoughts that
shouldn't be so prevalent
and phantom fingers
stirring up
memories
and things
that were
better         when they
were sleeping