Crystal Cave

I give you too much power she says
And she is right
But I don't understand why
You weaved a spell around my heart
My magic is too tainted to break it
To weakened
I am growing old and you are growing up
over me
I chant one last incantation...

Circuit Bored

Deep down you still Love me
The Gods whisper it in my ears at night
The machines speak it to me when they burn electricity
I push the button and my invention springs to life
I have spent three life times sketching
Building Perfecting this idea
Science is no fiction
No mystery
Labratory blues is what I got
Mad with power
with discoveries

Fire in the Sky

A spoonfull of sugar
Warm drinks
These December days
The dark comes on faster
Stars show their faces
The Moon slivers
Shivers
Hands in pockets
Red rockets
undone projects
City sidewalks that lead to your door
One day maybe you will let me back in

For the Devil to Erase

It does the impossible
Twin suns orbit around and around
Pulled by unreal gravity
Carrying weight of a thousand heartbreaks
We dream dreams of a different kind
Like twin suns orbiting a heart
The light turns green Some one blows a horn
I put the car in gear and stop day dreaming
I am sure somewhere right now
You were thinking of me too

Seaweed

I carry my heartaches around with me
On holidays and weekends I display them
like medals on my chest
Your's is the largest and shines like the North star
What am I going to do now
I wake at night from dreams
That I think are reality
and it all crashes in
waves breaking on the shore
washing me out to sea
Where mermaids pull me under
and
drown me with their kisses

It Was All in the Cards

Your face is everywhere Making me stupid Making a fool of me Rapid fire questions Keeping me up at night A vacation a romance A salutation Words and sentences run together My soul is black

Books and Pens

I write this with knowledge Too much knowledge Tears are my currency And they pay for everything Now the real story is out there Out there I am ugly and like Bukowski I have one that got away I write this with knowledge Powerless Unresolved

Sick With It

I'm not going to climb trees get on my knees Beg please I'll just be pissed About the chances we missed Fuck it all to shit

Boo!!

Last night
your ghost shook its chains and
woke me three times from a dream
what the fuck was that all about
did my Gypsy curse backfire
and fall on my sacred head instead
failing like all my best laid plans
call me names
forget my face
take all traces of me and just erase

Stream

The sky paints pictures
broad strokes of color
Oil and water
Acid rain
Eat organic as much as I can
to clear out the system
Cerebus guards the gate
watching for escapees
Missing is tiring work
loving just as much
Laying head to pillow
Dreaming of hearts gone bye

I will not

Edit myself
to please others
when the Muse
reaches down from the heavens
and touches me on the shoulder
I must put it all down
the subject chooses me
I am a slave to my work
I will not bend to others will
I am not a reed in the wind

Love

This perpetual emotion
it needs no fuel to run
no engine to move
cleansed in the heart of a dying star
it rises from the ashes
this forever running river
it can not be dammed
washes over everything
this galactic circus
with interstellar clowns
and constellation jugglers
all
rises from ashes
born again and again
no matter how many times it's stabbed in the chest

Soft Wood

Buried three miles underground
Burning in the heart of the sun
plastic conduits carry wires
That pass information
to super computers smaller
than the nail on a thumb
sharper than the nail through the palm
Crucified for half the story
Scream now in anger
Sleep now in memories
memories are what make us what we are

Luck or Chance

Four leaf clover
Turn it over
Need more good luck
one last fuck
flip a coin
Head in the sand
Tail toward the sun
Three sneezes and a blessing

Little Socks

I watch you in your sleep
Stretching
making little faces
Tiny toes and fingers
so sweet in your slumber
the one perfect thing I have done
The one thing that has made me happy
After being so sad

Ring around the Moon

Whiskey drunk
Like bears on frost covered
moonlit forest floors
hunting prey
machine driven monsters light up
Camp fire tent town
I can smell the honey
Heating up the bloodstream
roasting fish
Searing flesh
boiling love in broken bottles

Changing Table

You have brought me joy
and dirty diapers
I sing songs that I make up on the fly
to keep you from crying
we talk about birds in the trees and bumble bees
fish in the sea and the smiles you bring me
that first drive with you in the car
was white knuckle stress
every other driver the enemy
I can't stand to be away from you for more than ten minutes
I just didn't know what I was missing
to be a father is more that I expected

and I sing
"is everything o.k. is everything alright
of course it is cause daddy is holding you tight
is everything o.k. is everything fine
yes it is because you are all mine"

Birthday

December 1st 2011
8:17am
Dean Jackson says hello to the world
I rejoice
6 pounds 15 ounces
could he be anymore awesome
My baby Jack

Keys and Locks

I'm around to turn out the lights at night
and to make sure the door is locked
so we can all sleep soundly
I make sure the bad people stay on the outside
It's my job to check the thermostat
and hang shelves
put things together
be handy
It's my duty
to make you all smile
though sometimes I do a poor job of it
I'm not perfect
but then again
Who is

Untitled November

You
think
I am
over it
but
I am
not
I
think
this scar
will
never
heal
Do
you understand
that
this
has changed me
and I
may
never ever
be
the same
again
when
my mind
is at rest
it automatically
turns to
you
foolish
thing
I am
But it doesn't
matter
My little baby will be here in
three days
to set
my mind at
ease

Ask Me What Is Wrong

It's everywhere
your happiness
like the world is rubbing it in my face
Grinding it into my soul
now when I should be occupied
with my own coming joy
it's everywhere I turn
Your happiness
I wait for five days to pass
and work on working on

Magic Trumps Science Every Time

It's not about a scene
or what others think
computer science
is nothing compared to the magic we shared
my inventions fall short
and a dashing hero steals you away
I am the villain
the rogue
the fiend
with maniacal laugh
and crazy ideas
why won't this time machine rip open space
and hurl me to a far flung past
or a distant future
your spell is still stuck around my head
like a cloudy halo
obsessed with checking my internet stats
my typing skills are fading faster than your memory

Jester, Clown Prince, Buffoon

Connection
what could it mean
the clock is ticking
Getting closer to those days
time is running out
Things are becoming more complicated
mind bending
heart breaking
Tears falling
I kept these tied with a bow
one day
maybe
you will want it all back
maybe I am just a fool

I Need To Shave For

I am itchy with conspiracies
bristling with theories
restless with hypotheses
mind filled with so many half truths
Tired of this age of Social networking self importance
No one cares what you ate for lunch
or how far you ran today
no matter how much you tweet it
Facebook it
Scream it into the machine
Fictions
Turning pages
looking for clues inside text
Do you know the way to bring back
A dying art form
It lays in my hands
Breathing its last breathe

Hide and Go Seek

Are you as sorry as I am
Age starting to show
I grow into a man
A father
will I be able to see past this
Can I take all I've done
all I've seen
all I've been
and use it
To shape a young mind
To teach
My son
my son
those words make me shake with anticipation
Will he save me from me

Friday Fugue State

The name is nothing
slay dragons in sleep
Dress dark for backstage invisibility
Assassins stand ready
silent
like killing from 1000 miles away
If Big Brother is watching us
it is our duty to watch Big Brother watching us
transparent is truth
Babble on and on
Construct art from random thoughts
Deconstruct the two parties
in the best interest of a nation
Can you read between the lines
Can you see the subtext
it is faultless
the name is nothing

Fish Bone

Lead a liquid life
Flowing and adapting
To curves and bumps in the river bed
banking on forever moving
Never taking root
always leaving silt

Grease Paint

Why wear masks
when it is no longer late October
I don't know your true face anymore
I think I have painted my version of it
Stuck it in the gallery in my mind
I will throw turpentine on that canvas
After your day in the sun
when your hand sparkles
And you seal it with a kiss
And a after party fuck
I wish I knew how to forget
Or not imagine

Time Travel Can Be Torture Because

It's all winding backwards
As gears grind forward like teeth in sleep
green light arcs
from anything metal
this machine lurches time
everything moving in reverse
Creating a blur of nausea
I am immortal this way
Traveling
Looking for lost love
In my own timeline
You drip in slow motion
And break my heart repeatedly
Over and over again
I replay scenes
until the pain is me
All me
It's not too late to learn from this
I keep the wounds fresh
Lest I forget

This insomnia

Has me exhausted
Spent
worn down to the bone
At night in the dark
My mind just runs
won't stop
Images drilling deep into me
Haunting me
I see multiple timelines split
and follow each one to see what the outcome
reveals
testing this machine in my head
Until I realize that there is no more time
To shut my eyes
and I give in to the waking dreams
And go about the day
A walking shell
Searching for sleep

What is it you ask

It's the handshake
the earthquake
The heartbreak
The love we fake
The choices we make
It's the song we sing
The wedding rings
a multitude of things
the mistakes we bring
It's the cool autumn breeze
the way I seize
It's the hope we steal
the feelings we feel
that makes this
all
too
real

I Am So Hungry

Sometimes there is a look on her face
Like she is so sad
and she doesn't know why
complications complicate
idiots and fools dream of shiny new futures
I snuggle deeper in my sleep
Throwing lightning
Ready for that new life that will be mine

Nursery Dreams

It is the early morning stats check
The frost covering my back yard
I stand and just stare at your room
the crib I assembled
the blankets I have washed
all the little items of clothing waiting for you
snuggling with your future teddy bear at night
I feel you move inside your mothers belly
and it fills me with delight
I can't wait to hold you in my arms
And rock your tears away

Weeks Gone Missing

Cold water rises
River run wild
dark and swollen
Things change as it rushes by
space and time
It's a joke of sorts
that washes away traces
Of youth
of days gone by
Bringing new days
New life

Mashed

Peeling potatoes
Over the kitchen sink
gazing out the window
to kids playing in the fall evening
I cook dinner
I daydream of a life that could have been
And of the one that is

Motion Sickness

I make peace with the unanswered
with the fact that sometimes I have to be someone else
Make peace with the future you chose
I see stars in the morning sky
Mingled with my vapor breath
I make peace with those stars
and that silver sliver of a moon

Cold Shivers

Drive dark
straight to the center of the heart
I hurt with frustration
daily pushes to be someone else
I cannot turn around again and again
I cannot

Lead Pipe

Remote tumbling through time
I tried to use magic
To bring you home
It didn't work
I created a cyborg to be your double
My science fell short
My english skills too poor
To bring you to life in print
Sleeping well in his arms
Warm and sound
I freeze in my lab
Shiver in my sanctuary

There are no Time Machines in Washington D.C.

U.F.O.'s circle symbols of freedom
Alien propulsion pushing through the atmosphere
There are weeks
Days upon days
When the ache for you seems to never fade
Rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated
Using all my brilliance to find a way to rewrite history
To suit me
Under the Sea
They move their plots forward
Trying to generate a genesis
A fresh start in a dying world
A way to follow me back

Plug the Jack into My Skull

This is just a brain drain
from a million miles away
Traveling this highway
Makes me miss train rides
Plane flights
Bar fights
Warm western evenings
I crawl
Belly in the sand
Slithering like a snake
To put money on the bar
and drink my fill
To drown in a puddle
Left by a brain storm

Instinct

Like bears in winter
my love hiberrnates
waiting for a spring that may never arrive
like a bullet in the chamber
my love is terrible and beautiful
Built for rainy dreary Wednesdays
and long drives west
Like tigers in the night
My love hunts for you
Thoughtless of your fear

Icebox

I
the all encompassing
I
The all knowing
eye
Aye
there are devils here
I
don't slow fade
Third
eye looks inward
I
expand and
become me

I flip a switch and

He burns electric
Your ghost
the one that lives in my memories
Lands
1
2
3
4
blows
before I can even react
I am on all fours
pouring blood from my mouth
These are my processor dreams
my celluloid screams
He burns electric
becoming the conduit
for all the emotions that are meant for me
A smartphone Messiah
Social networking God
I grovel in the dirt
for any scraps of you

October Chill

World on fire
I burn like falling stars
I hope you sleep well now
all dreams come true
I truly envy you
I truly miss you

Screw Cupid and His Arrows

I break the dawn over my knee
Pushing mountains back into the Earth
You curse the love I bleed
and send me reeling through the cosmos
I bounce off random moons,planets
cracking my head on a blazing comet
I lay dying near a gas giant
Cursing the love I bleed into the Milky Way

Afternoon Ghosty

Burns a hole in my pocket
Like fuel from a rocket
I spend the spare change
and read headlines
"I know you from somewhere"
I look up and see beauty
"I do...I know you from somewhere"
Before I can speak
she sits on my bench
and folds her delicate hands in her lap
"I close my eyes and see you in my mind"
Slowly turning her head she looks at me
"I feel we are connected"
I am rendered speechless
"Please tell me you feel it too"
And without thinking
"I feel it too" comes spilling from my lips
I blink and she is gone
Like an apparition
Like a dream
like the shortcuts I use to take through life
Burning a hole in my pocket
Like fuel from a rocket
I spend the spare change
and make my own headlines

Press Zero

Don't wanna be dumb
Full of woe and much further to go
Shoe worn by concrete
Worn by the way our eyes don't meet
Don't want to be dumb
Just want to hold your hand

Don't wanna be stupid
Full of sad, I feel so bad
Oh I'll go anywhere
You ask me to
Oh I'll do anything
you ask me to
Don't want to be stupid
Just want to hold you hand

Future Prime

Light emitting diodes
Blink randomly
Increase in speed
Flashing rapidly
My mind reels with the pressure
And I'm instantly in a hundred places at once
Many points in time
I can see so much
Information flowing into my brain
Possible futures
how many can I alter
At your altar I make my peace
My machines burn blue
Setting plans in motion

Formica

You are the sadness that is
tucked into the corner of my heart
You are the knot in my belly
when I wake in the night...
in the night or under the influence
when true feelings creep out
not the ones we have falsly painted
and now accept as truth
But what does it matter
this will go unread
and the future has you cornered
But I am the rat
Burning gasoline across a blackened highway

I Come With

Arms open
like petals to the
face of the Sun
Dreams burn
fireworks shower
Red white sparks
Mind open
small ideas
take root
bloom
Opening petals
to the roof
of the Sky

Lost in 1993

Some days
So old my bones
Stiff and locked
rusted joints
tired eyes
tilted smile
Some sunrises
It is mind numbing
how mucn time has past

Breakfast Jump Up

I need my morning kick
that warm rich smell
cool mornings are best with
Coffee and cream
waking my mind to sleepy ideas
shaping poems in the dawn

Friday Falling Rain

Surprised by an early morning rain shower
My morning adventure cut short
slip into dry cafe
Your double stares back at me
Shocked to silence
I find a corner and watch rain fall
On to city streets

The Trick

I speed across the horizon
crossing into dreams
playing rock and roll emotions
playing rock,paper,scissors
with my imagination
planting seeds that will grow
Into new ideas
new feelings
new love
Walking hand in hand with ghosts
Until you fade

The Trickster

There is a ring around the moon
and a ring around your finger
I burn continents with my right hand
Make rivers run red
with my sorrow
You cannot imagine the pain
in my chest
how it twists when I wake
from these dreams
I terrorize the Gods
and throw them from their thrones
Burning gasoline
I speed across the horizon

Al Niyat

Engines burn through
The black cold of Space
ship adrift
In an unknown solar system
Strange stars make new patterns
Hard light cuts through rock
Through metal
I took this job to escape love
On my home planet
To find a way to be a hero
So my Angel would return to me
But now I am lost
Light years from home
I send out one final distress
Hoping my last love letter
My last plea to her
Reaches
that blue planet

Fire Fight

I keep a light on
a flame burning
Looking out looking glass
feeling empty
feeling
window pain
you reflect like ten million candles
burning retinas
I click click click
And wish for home
Smashing bottles to look for genies
or that last drop of oblivion

Useless

It's too complicated to fix now
Like the puzzle pieces of my heart
That need stitched together
Some people are born in Heaven
and others in Hell
Some just carve their own paths there
nothing is too complicated to fix
You just have to be willing to take risks

Fiction

You compare us
but it's like apples and oranges
cats and dogs
He is a successful lyricist
I'm a poetic hack
He sings songs on stages across the globe
I read my work to drunks in bars
he dreams of the fame
I don't dream at all
and yet
My star is starting to shine
My work refined
No longer teenage angst
But adult frustration
His age showing
My face still baby fresh
Choose your own adventure
You walked away from the path I'm on
even when I extended my hand
And invited you along
One day my response will be
I told you so...

Nothing Really Matters

Halo bent and twisted
wings bruised and broken
sleep seems like a savior
we rush to grab what is ours
pushing pulling feelings apart
I am pulled in four directions
My heart breaks under the strain
thoughts scatter in the wind
dusty and easily forgotten
cursing is easier than loving
easier than trying
I watch the sun rise
and as you make peace with your own demons
mine still put up a fight

Sands Shift

Ticking down the minutes
clock watching
Counting the hours
Like days
Like months
years until I see you again
different life times
Time
conceptual
Time
makes fools of us both

Green with Envy

It is like watching a train wreck
In slow motion
Our love is slow motion
Pushing the envelope
pushing distance
kidding ourselves with our choices
I react nuclear

Art Museum Steps

Wielding words like weapons
Stutter stepping sentences
Postulating perilously on paragraphs
poetic assassin
Leaking love
murdering memories
bring beauty back
To dying art forms

Grinding Teeth

I wipe red and black sleep from my eyes
Yawning
Stretching dreams
sigh away lost soulmate
stretching love to the extreme
I break morning bread
And pray for rain
Wish for change

Reincarnation/Let's Try This Again

Two people so stupid for each other
That they push each other away
and make lives that are not intertwined
but separated by distance
Hearts that will go on hurting
Through smiles and holidays
until the next life they live
brings them back together
and fate gives them yet another chance

Four Lines About Everything

Fate brought it together
Love tore it apart
I patiently wait
For it all to restart

Comic Book Blues

I dodge bullets
Deflect knives
detect the poison in my food
Superhuman
I fight monsters
madmen
demons
aliens
stop wars before they start
rescue damsels in distress
Keep trains on their tracks
all these things I do
and still I can't hold on to you

Do You Know That

My happiness is a fragile thing
like stained glass
and something as simple as a word
Can be like throwing a stone
shattering
And then I wait..
until I have the inclination
to pick up the glass
cutting my hands
my feet
and starting over again
Fresh blood for fresh start

Trouble

I play sorrow
I play 6 strings
I play 88 keys
I sing about what should have been
I sing what it really is

Morning Drive

Moutain smoke
leads west
like those books we used to read
about cowboys braking horses in Mexico
falling in love with land owners daughters
bleeding in Mexican prisons
Rivers crest
washing away the past
like topsoil
drowning love in muddy water

Detour: Road Closed

Walk clouds
Sidewalks to the Sun
Feathered highways
Flown to exotic islands
burnt offerings on the altar
incantations spark the flame
Spells take hold
changing the laws of Nature
walking clouds
Like solid pathways paved by the Gods

Sock Puppets

Like atom bombs
we explode sugar cane
Dreams are cotton candy
fluffy
Super villian villainy
Fantasy freedom
I bring flowers for the occasion
Dance dangerous across
the floor
Take a bow
and plant my flag
on the second moon

Tumbling Tuesday

That's the way to my heart
new starts
Sweetarts
blue jeans in shopping carts
I talk with my fists
bleeding wrists
Blues twists

Origami

My anger is spent
shuffing off youth
I shut the car door
and drive highway miles
I kiss stars at night
burning your paper moons
as headlights

Like a Mile Away

There is
blood
blood
blood
on my hands
blood that is not my own
blood on my shirt
blood on the stone
that lies at my feet
blood on my shoes
blood in my sleep
There are
ghosts
ghosts
ghosts
in my home
ghosts in my car
ghosts in my bathroom
ghosts glowing like stars
that shine in the sky
ghosts in my bed at night
ghosts that cry
and I don't know the reason
why
why
why

Paper Cuts

Words cut
deeper than your disappointment
Sharper than a knife
Red dress dances
twirls
spins
Drinks empty
voice drained
microphone unplugged
words cut
deeper than your truth
sharper than the love that was sacrificed
plant a tree
write a poem
fly on wings of blue

Things to Remember

Confession is good for the soul
You should try it sometime
Too much of a good thing makes it bad
excess is expensive in more ways than one
Love is not always easy
nor is it like it is in a fairytale
words and actions go hand in hand
Broken hearts never truly mend
We just get use to the scars
There is nothing wrong with being wrong
or laughing in the streets
Smile when you can
and keep the things you love close to your chest

Smile and Sigh

Little one that fills my dreams
A life that will never be the same
New eyes to see the world through
A new world to fascinate
I am nervous and scared
I think I never thought
that I would have this chance to help shape a life
A mind
Little one that fills my dreams
little hands and face
little giggles
I dream and wait
Already loving you more than you'll ever know

Porcelain Again

Saturday night
Streets quiet and empty
Hurricane Party!!
Plans not to drink
plans gone awry
Windy and raining
Empty martini glasses
empty jar of olives
Soggy city

Bit of a Mess

Hanging on the line
waiting for your call
But what is the fucking point of it all
Feeling so small
I am no diamond ring
No song to sing
No mysterious thing
Just a semi-disappointed jerk
heading out the door to work
With all my strangeness and quirks
I am the ink on my arm
This halo life that is charmed
Hanging on the line
waiting for your fall
I guess that's the fucking point of it all
Feeling so small

Free Space is in the Silence

It's various assorted WiFi connections
moving modulating
waving sine waves
information states
there is no law against
hiding in a closet
it just looks suspicious
High fidelity still sounds
futuristic
Bouncy bouncing
wired rubber racing rooms
pretty does not mean saintly
mean ice wrecks data-stream
hotspot burns nuclear
Smartphone meltdown
green-way beltway
circuitry loop
winter is grey my love

Der Winter ist grau

Porcelain

Last
night
Earthquake Party!!
too much
drinky
drinky
Ugh!

Taming Tigers

It has to be fate that's doing it
I numbered my foes
to keep me on my toes
Found you on the other side of the fence
Paying rent on a heart you didn't own
cell phoned
Texted out
Your laughter drowns out drum beat
heart seeps
I sleep
eat and do it all again
If I learned anything from my childhood
It's laugh like today is all you know

Apollo Rising

We fly blue sky
Land in verdant oasis
Dreams dreamed
We bathe in cool streams
I am winged and wise
You are small and quick
Fleeting shadows on distant ground
We nest and rest the day
Sleep the clock around
Godily in our power
Infinite in our love

Red Doors

You point your loaded gun at me
Smiling
Like the idea of hurting me
pleases you
you wanted a simple man
and I am too complicated
You once called me dense
but I'm deep
There's a difference
you point that loaded gun at me
and I stand open armed
daring you to pull that trigger
to run up that hill
to run up those stairs
To fulfill my prophecy

Emancipation From Ignorance

I sit in the lotus
pushing thought out
Emptying my cluttered mind
Drilling down inside myself
to find the true center
Breathing out pain
Anger
frustration
Inhaling love
Peace
serenity
Opening my third eye
I see through the physical world
Break the vail
See all of your true colors
I elevate
better myself
Come closer to inner peace

I Dream Strange Dreams

Old Gods fall
like the Titans did to
the Olympians
replaced by machines
and oil burning AI's
Love fails
Empathy is forgotten
madmen run governments
of steel and silicon
bad dreams haunt the waking world
Men flee into Space
to evolve
to change
to populate new worlds
And start the cycle over
Again and again
forever and ever
Amen

Revoke

I will burn down this house
I will burn down this forest
I will burn down this world
because the girl is gone
and never ever coming back
I curse the first week of August
as over the horizon a new future emerges
that is so bright I must turn away
An apparition
walking in this ghost world
forgetting the joy of living in the moment
I suffer for my art
for my work
my dizzying swirl of thoughts
and curse the decisions I let others make for me
as that bright future burns away the mist
and takes me with it

Clocks Tick

Tigers tumble
The jungle sleeps like angels dance
On the head of a pin
hiding secrets
Placing blame
Only everything was what I was promised
I'm still waiting...
your clockwork heart beats out of sync
And I wish you could still stand the sound of my voice
or the feel of my skin on yours

Jupiter

You are a disease
eating the heart of the south
not unlike the kids
Roaming up and down my street
the ones who forsake education
for a quick moment of nirvana
reaching for dead stars and motion picture fictions
Tossing broken bricks through jagged teeth windows
Laughing like dream sick lunatics

Hutch

She is going to be a bad girl
She grins
her eyes look glassy
and she's walking
moving
not sleeping like she needs
she is a love, sweetheart
I'm wore out
Still thinking she's the bunny

Chimera

Did I have a dream in which you still loved me
or was that just smoke blown into my eyes
summer feels
like broken mirrors
Seven years bad luck and all that nonsense
maybe a bluebird tattooed on my arm will offset it
superstition does have its strong points
Pointy like the teeth you sunk into my veins
you draw the life up and out of me
But no worries
I have a way to live forever and ever and ever
Tra la la tra la lye

Buried In Books

Drowning in words
pages
paper
dancing on brittle spines
Kicking calendars
Days that are numbered
Swimming in sentences
paragraphs
chapters
tangoing on tables of contents
fumbling first editions
Lost in the stacks
sneezing dusty phrases
Sleeping in fiction

Hey Blue

There were three shots of tequila lined up in front of me
not the cheap shit either
lined up beside the microphone on a fold out table
"Read us a fucking love poem" someone shouts from the crowd
"They are all love poems" I slur back
I pick up the first shot and sling it down my throat
"Ok,ok I say...here is one..a fucking love poem"
I stumble through it
The women swoon
Giggle
try to get my attention
afterward
I fade away from the crowd
toward the back of the bar
slide into a booth with my friends
I'm drunk
drunk
Thick with drink I
melt out the back door
and plod towards home

Little Tears

My sadness had a vice grip on me today
I cry tears
surrounded by sorrow
it pushed its way through my sunny future
and had me by the throat
but this too shall pass
like the different phases of my life
like shadows in the summer
like traffic on my busy city street

Paranoid Future

I have a growing distrust of my machines
their electronic eyes blinking
send shivers up my spine
the robot that delivers my mail
looks at me like it knows all my dirty secrets
the one that prepares my meals snickers when it puts down my plate
I don't like these things of metal and plastic
their magnetic brains remember and record too much
someday soon I'll find a way to shut them all down
unless they get me first

Swelter

Road weary
World worn
sitting on summer stoop
Sweating out unwanted love
City heat
buckling streets
you can not know how it feels
Never gonna be the same

A Evening Drink

Hard concrete meets bone/flesh
Drunk falls face first off barstool
face explodes in gush of blood
Stumbling, swearing
He lifts himself off the floor
Trails blood toward the door
Camera catches it all
friends rush to the sidewalk to subdue
finishing my drink I choke back a laugh
Shake tired head and turn toes for home

Free Flight

I'm flying
free falling through cloud castles
Laughing like a fool
New wings flexing
I trade flight for feelings
Cubicle slavery for freedom
I trade love for stability
wishes for kisses
Flying straight for the Sun

Bluest Monday

My love is not perfect
I can't turn it on or off like a light switch
I can sit on my ass
Or fly on a plane
Headed west
and then back east
I can regret things
I am not perfect
I am my words
my broken poems
A love story where the characters change
but the ending stays the same

I Know Who

Played both sides of the fence
so it didn't matter who won
so perfect
Walking away intact
Walls crumble
Armies fall
I scribe new ink into my side
reminders of days
mementos

Redeem

Leaves rustle
Windy afternoon
Surfing the heat wave
pushing east
stealing
thieving feelings
Tolerate the broken dreams
You can't get it back
but soon baby Jack
Will heal what ever is cracked
Still alive
I burn like a short fuse
as the city blacks out
And we dance to a summer cricket song
Forgetting all that went wrong

Dream 799

The Lion eats the lambs heart
Sucks up the sand
Drinks the sea
The Falcon takes the rabbit
Flies the horizon
Sharpens the talons
The Bear mauls the Sun
Shreds its children
Rages in the forest
The Fox chases the moon
Loves the stars
Swims the Milky Way
It snows in July
The world flips upside down
The Turtle rights himself
Closes his eyes
Sleeps the sleep of babes

10 Minutes

Buried under gravel
under white capped waves
waving from third story window
Candles burn to piles of wax
like chewing gum under a desk
hearts carved in wood
browning with age
Peeling bark
In summer park

2 In A Day Isn't Bad

My heart is
No longer water soluble
it stands firm in a downpour
how could you have chosen anyone else
all those qualities that shine like stars
Or trolls treasure
You passed over a bright sunny day
In return for a cloudy forecast
The little children scrawling chalk art
on the cracked sidewalks
Chant love poems they don't understand yet
Blow bubbles up into second story windows
catch butterflies in mason jars
I breathe in the smell of cut grass
soak up vitamin D
And return to my work

Antsy

I open your eyes with kisses
The Sun peeping over the Horizon
You smile and return my love
I sit at my desk and write poems
they flow out of me
Unstopped
My mind runs with words like a torrent
flooding paper and screen alike
Speaking in riddles
You read over my shoulder
You kiss my cheek and rub your belly
Harboring a new life
I kiss that bump
And tell my child
"Get here soon,get here safe. I can't wait."

Soma

In the dream I am young
It is snowing and I am tunneling
Making paths through feet of snow
the air is that sleepy shade of grey
Then it jumps
Goes all fuzzy
I'm standing at the top of the stairs
Of the house on 4th street
In pajamas with feet
shadows move and grow below
voices shouting
I am three
I think
but somewhere in the back of my brain
I know it is a dream
I am really 36
sleeping in a king sized bed
Sleeping beside a woman who is carrying
a new life inside her that I helped create
and so these shadows and raised shouts don't frighten me
I dream remnants of my past
and wear them like medals of honor

Quick Thaw

Lights blink on the periphery
the machine was designed to correct mistakes
to allow the user to travel back and fix what they had broken
he planted a thosand seeds on a hundred planets
but to no avail
nothing would bring back his rocket ship angel
his time traveling dream
He paused before firing it up again
before rewinding

Green Thumb

This morning in your backyard garden
smelling of fresh flowers and morning dew
You nursed my blue bruise
and told me
what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger
stronger for that new life
that is rushing toward us
we grin at the thought
eyes shining like prisms
you lay your lips upon my skin
And kiss away the pain
I can't wait
I say
and you reply
I know

Myth Me

These dirty feet
treading worn rock road
these dreams that point to new songs
two rainbows were in the sky this morning
did they lead to two pots of gold
to a field of four leaf clovers
to silent lovers spread across dawn's meadow
he speaks magic words
offers tribute to fallen and forgotten Gods
Slows the passing of days
and drinks in the morning dew
drunk on sorcery
power spreads from his mouth
these dirty knees bend before the coming of a new age

It's Not What You Thought

Words
are what give me my power
My immortality
I will live forever through this sentence
Words
give me strength
Each one is carefully chosen
so when I say that I love you
there is truth and power in that phrase
words
words
I never waste them

Drinks on Me

Cornered
I am dangerous
seething
seeping
my blood boils
Love evaporates
west coast brings me
good and bad news
California
Pacific coast highway
I speed along
Smoking away any shred
of what was left
A funeral pyre
I will never answer back again
I rev the engine
And say hello to the future
and good bye to the space shuttle
dreams of what should have been

You Wouldn't Even Know Me

Once again my big mouth
and uncurbed anger
got the best of me
I threw the first punch and
the second
that satisfying feel of bone on bone
I'm getting good at this
ducking and swerving
smiling through the pain
so tell them all to bring it
I feel fucking invincible
and it's not just the booze talking this time

Brain Dump

It takes two or three rings
reading messages sent via text
reading palms via a smartphone screen
I predict trouble
red moon glowing in midnight sky
you fly higher than impossible
racing around the globe
to Eskimo kiss me
embracing change
continents apart
the west coast bleeds my talent
and resurrects my words in a twisted form
I love and love
and it pushes you farther away
I would drain these veins dry
I would die for you
die for you
and turn round and round in my grave
social networking is the curse of the new generation
and it will be their downfall
I pray for a different world
so my child will know peace and privacy

Lunar Cotton Tail

Chase rabbits across green meadows
Large boulders litter the landscape
Chase rabbits down into their rabbit holes
and dream of far away planets
Star filled windows
Rocket ship sickness
Home sickness
Arguing with ghosts
Chasing rabbits into rabbit holes
Barking, growling bloody murder
sleeping in zero gravity
floating in slumber
Chasing rabbits through wavy green blades
down star filled holes
Dreaming in weightlessness

Singing Songs

I miss the star on your foot
the shooting star I caught
But couldn't hold
I miss those baby babys wispered in my ear
As you tra la la down the street
I hum a broken tune
and cook tacos for dinner
drink beer for forgetting

I Always Knew

The earth undulates under my feet
your new future breaks on my shore
or is it the old future you had picked out
I was just a small detour
a dalliance
a game to play
So is life
we learn our lessons
and lose trust
so I'm taking two more shots of tequila
and writing this off as a bad dream

Late Evening Rain

I'm forgetting names
but remembering faces
your lighting strike
blazes purple neon across broken sky
ionizing the oxygen
I don't Guten Tag
nor do I Adios
I pick herbs from your garden
and count the days

Sontonas

The sun sets low behind the Iron Mountains
our fire cracks and burns red and gold
Maliek calls me master
even though I see us as equals
True, he is not as tall and mighty as I
but his wits are sharper than a Zinzack's claws
and his knowledge of the world runs deeper
than the Arkantant Sea
He knows the secrets of the painted rocks
of the Sindarcian desert
He speaks the language of the bronze covered
people of Cristo
Yet he bows to me and follows my lead
I who have destroyed the tainted idols of Kamacz
I who have plundered the treasure rich tombs
of the sharp-toothed Lisarians
We camp tonight
Hidden by rocky cliff
A warrior-thief and scholar
brief respite from long trails
dangerous adventures
We tell tales of beautiful women
and prepare for a new day
full of unknown secrets

Reading Palms

It has been a new challenge
trying to learn to live outside my old self
learning to live for another life
learning to let go of pain
and anger
and sadness
learning to not be so self centered
So that my child will grow up
knowing a father
without anger
without sadness
with out regret
A father that is not selfish
but selfless
knowing that this chaotic world
will be a bit more beautiful
with a new life in it

We Grow Wings

We hold hands in the dark
like two children scared of the rain
steps of soft gold lead us
to light and city parks
You shed tears that I wipe away
with soft words
soft
like baby blankets
We smile and shine so brightly
flashing like diamonds in the sun
like all things
like everything
I use to not believe in a predicted future
I use to not know myself
but change is forever changing
who we are sculpted to be
and now my pen's ink smells of ocean breezes
I walk out the front door
hand in hand with you
kicking tin cans and broken shells into the Atlantic ocean

Home Town

I build bridges
to burn them down
Pennsylvania Dutch country
isn't all rolling hills
corn fields
cow pastures
it's also an escape from
City streets
and what seems like endless
travel
We take pictures of old barns
and I regress in to old feelings
like your name still tattooed on my soul
is mine still inked on yours

South Central Penn

Quiet little towns
Round a bouts in the square
Corn growing in rows
Tight two lane roads
Twisting turning
Racing over rounded hilltops
I smile at that burnt memory
We pass groups of cows
Praying for rain to wash down the cud
I see roads of youth
You smile at my countryside

Sun Burn Sanity

I see brittle bones broken
Bones used to fly
Tones of Texas oil tycoons
Ten gallon hats
Six shooters
We try that flight path
I can't cactus
Buffalo
Your black gold
Bought you squeeky clean souls
I sidewind like that
Sand bound serpent
Praying for prey

Globe Trotting

You say rainbow
I say green grass
We laugh and fall
Rolling down summer hill
Tumbling like Jack and Jill
And we all sing ahh ahh
You love my brain
And I love your love
And we all sing I don't give a damn
We all sing to new starts
To new stories
To plans in plans
And to escaping emotional scams

Prominence

We wake early and claim
the rising sun as our own
Illy wants to see the city
the way I do on my dawn walks
She puts her delicate hand in mine
and we leave the brownstone for
the city street
watching others hurry to catch buses
and subway trains
bustling in and out with cups
of bitter coffee
She wants to see the world that I see
to paint with my eyes
I kiss her cheek while we wait
for the signal
to push our way across Broad St.
I show her the rats running
their races
She wants to understand me
she believes in me
We sit in the park and she
sketches
birds in trees
a city morning like none I've ever known

Ship Wreck / Island Life

I see out at sea
Atlantic Ocean
Your ship is going down
flames creeping up the mast
too far for me to swim out
to save you
you waited to long to come home
drifted from my shore
I've lost you to the sea
lost you to rock and roll
lost you to my old age
we can dream different futures
and lead separate lives
two islands in the sea

Post-It Poem

Brain burns weird fantasies
burns them off like fog
burnt off by the new dawn
Caffeine makes B12 race
faster to my brain
race faster like a high speed
police pursuit
Running out of road
running out of room
this comes to an abrupt
stop

Wired Weird

I am a cyclone
a whirlwind
a twister
sweeping people up into my life
chaos
taking them along for the ride
roller coaster bumper cars
then inevitably some flying debris
cracks a skull
or puts out an eye
breaks a heart
and I drop them on a schoolhouse
rock
and whirl
spin
run away
to the next
carving trails
rearming arrows
writing steamrollers on brick walls

You Can Hardly Stand It

Late spring laughter
sprinkles through the park
we walk beneath green leaf canopies
and talk future plans
we talk childhood dreams
we talk Pennsylvanian folklore
I am German completely in my blood
She is Russian and headstrong
laughter
there are some places here that
make you forget the city
is surrounding you
We laugh outdoors and
talk about future lives
the paths that brought us together
forever entwined now
by a little growing life
spending days covered in books
typing out words
collecting memories
to push
other
memories out of my head
late spring laughter
we run for cover
from an early evening rain storm

Can You Say

The sunlight pokes its way
between the cracks in my eyelashes
I uncurl her sleeping form from mine
and stand there in the morning light
to look at her
She is epic
the type of woman that men write songs about
or sell their souls to the devil for
for some reason she chose me
I stand there in awe
her eyes flutter open
and she locks my gaze
she smiles and stretches
funny the path life puts before us
the places it goes
and how second best can sometimes
be all you need

Midas Touch

The world is upside down
This year has so far been
riddled with disasters
natural and man made
outbreaks of infection
random
destruction
but in the middle of a
world falling down
My life has taken off
good news following good news
chances at success
a new purpose handed to me
So now everything shines
streets seem more inviting
cars sparkle in the sun
my walks along these city landscapes
have a new meaning
I grip my pen a little tighter
as I meditate on change

3:45 PM Daydream

Fire engine and rocket red
I dream a dream
In my well made bed
So why the fuck can't
I get you out of my head
Or stop hearing those
Words I wish you'd said

Wishes Do Come True

Through the roof
Knowing that in a few months
I will hold a tiny life
In my arms
A life I helped create
Whose blood will be my blood
Whose genes will be my genes
A life I will be responsible for
A little mind to guide and grow
A new purpose for me
Through the roof
Knowing
My life is a little more complete

Random 87

You are the air beneath
the wings of a monster
a vacuum sucking the last breath from
dying peoples lungs
I am Superman
or another random costume super hero
here to save the day
but shun the glory and hide
beneath my secret identity
priding ourselves with our minds
locked in a battle of wits
blow for blow I see pieces of me
and bits of you fall away
scattered like dust
I am the Sun on a warm spring morning
you are the dew that soaks my feet

Leaving Los Angeles

The first class flight attendant
(She corrected me when I called her stewardess)
tends to the every need
of the man in front of me
Flying into the Sun
East
Illy sleeps with her head
on my shoulder
I scribble in this book
and try to flesh out
more
of a story I am writing
Across the aisle Danny laughs
at a magazine article and points a picture out to Tom
I look out a reinforced window
at a land of clouds and blue sky
the domain of birds
If only we could sprout wings
I think
If only we could fly
The flight attendant brings me
a martini with two olives
I kiss Illy's forehead
she sighs and nestles her head deeper
into the crook of my neck
A new future before me now
new plans
opportunity knocking at my door
rap rap rap
time to answer the call
Philadelphia I'm coming home

Hot As Hell

The desert is a dusty beast
It groans and shifts its dusty back
I am the deadliest weapon in the world
armed with words
I slice and dice
drill holes in the center of the moon
defy gravity
wage war with Angels
plant thermonuclear devices in
my poetry
to blow your mind sky high
sinking suns into each other
I laugh at the aftermath
standing on a dune
looking at an oasis
we all slide to the center

Quick Sand

We blazed a trail through the desert
on the way to the city of sin
it was still and quiet out in the sand
we stopped to take it all in
the waste
I forgot you weren't with me
and turned to tell you something
but you weren't there
the heat
burnt clarity in to my brain
I have to believe in the fact
that
you are happy without me
and be o.k. with it
we all laugh anticipating
a city that literally never sleeps
neon dreams and gambling machines

Triple Dare

You are like stardust
and I wake kissing phantoms
The party in the hills last night
some friends of Danny's
We were all invited
a few heard me read earlier
and I was convinced to recite
something from memory
of course it was all about you
those are the only ones I have committed
afterwards three separate women
slipped their phone numbers to me
while Illy glared daggers across
the room
I've become to shy to refuse
On the way back to the hotel
Danny said
"I think this town suits you."
I think anywhere suits me now
a man divided
body in California
mind in Philadelphia
heart in North Carolina
I trace stardust
and kiss phantoms to sleep

California Crazy

I rate paranoia on a sliding scale
with a small dose of psychic predilection
sometimes the paranoia turns to truth
two German Jews are under my hotel window
smoking cheap cigars
I can smell the acrid smoke drift in
Somewhere in the distance a gun shot
follows several other gun shots
violent in its beauty
two man stand on the corner
under my hotel window
quoting Beckett and Dr. Who
"We are all born mad. Some remain so."
and the other states
"Sad is happy for deep people"
I think there is something in the air out here
maybe there are different stars in these skies

Pacific Waking Dream

There is perfection
In these morning waves
That lap at my feet
Like a friendly dog
Infinity in the grains of sand
I run my fingers through
The sun behind my back
I see light dance
On the Pacific ocean
Brimming with life
I smile a real smile
And toss discarded words
In to the sea breeze

West Coast

California
At once beautiful
And terrible in its beauty
My first reading
Was in a hole in the wall bar
It's different here
The audience talks back
Laughs
I was completely tanked
Before I took the stage
A homage to my idol I guess
I read for 15 minutes
Old poems for a new crowd
Applause
Small talk afterwards
More drinks, chatter
The 5 of us walked back
Toward the hotel
I was high on the rush
Of a new crowd
Wouldn't shut up
Drunk on trying to forget

Black Hole

Circuits completed
the whole of it
comes to life with electricity
we float on the edge of a black hole
fighting its pull continually
The scientist in me
plays god with chemicals
and tries to create life that can live in the void
my systems power on
my assistant fires protons
eyes blazing
hair on end
I see movement
sparks
life
now can I harness the power of love
like I've mastered the power of life

Opportunity

I am father of man
Yet I expand
and become the protector
of a distant land
Illiyana cries
at my attempts to die
She claims to love me
but I don't know why
Tomorrow it's off to
the city of angles we fly
with plans to see the sights
and to read these poems I write
To gather new fans
and talk to a man
about the possibility of a book
or for him to take a look
at a script in my hand
about things perhaps bland
I'll be gone for awhile
from my city of smiles

Truth

Lighthearted Saturday
working on forgetting
on unburdening my soul
we have made our choices
and we must live with them
small birds land in my hands
in my hair
they pick up my pain and
carry it into the clouds
I have to learn to smile again
with or without you

Now Serving...

So intoxicated tonight
playing the fool
playing the clown
obnoxious
my big mouth gets me in trouble
kiss me where the sun don't shine
I do a drunken dance
and feel the floor fall from beneath me
Somehow I see clearer
through this alcoholic haze
your words elevate me and at
the same time open new wounds
walking straight into the rain storm
daring a God I don't believe in
to strike me down
So fucked up on liquor
I ramble on and
stumble in to the night
now sit here in my underwear
unable to cry, to weep
I pray for dreams
but I no longer know sleep

Revivification

I turn my face and feet
toward the east
and walk into the rising sun
walk into the all consuming sea
This is the story of how I died
and became a ghost
a shade of what should have been
instead of a dry husk
all the essence written away in
little poems, useless poetry
I face east toward the rising tide
and release a pain that makes
whales cry a sad song
This is how I died
and rose again
a new creature that burns
like a forgotten star
So not like the thing I use to be
I turn my eyes into the rising sun
and burn away
To never feel the same
This is the story of how I died
and reinvented what it means to be me

Apollo

I've learned how
to beat the Devil
at his own game
I carry him around
in my back pocket
like some trophy
He's got no power over me
I'm not fooled
by pretty eyes
lips that pour
sugar into my ears
I built a wall around me
so strong it can't fall
I built it out of
broken liquor bottles
and mortar made of pain
Only the Sun and
small birds
come in
through the top
I beat the Devil
at his own game
I got a wall around me
so strong it can not fall

8 A.M.

My dreams seem more like reality
than the world I walk through
swallows flying through the city
in the morning light
I sit drinking coffee in Rittenhouse Square
watching people enjoying a sunny day
writing little poems on my phone
smiling at pretty women on their way to work
my friends are all still asleep
I don't do that much anymore
a few hours here and there
before I wake in a sweat
but this morning air is nice
and the city is special at this time of day
I finish my coffee
and start of into the Philadelphia canyons
adventure awaits
it's a shame you're not here to share it with me
but I'll walk this road alone

Ward

I have a good luck charm in every pocket
to ward off the bad luck I was born with
a rooster and a pig tattooed
one on each foot
to keep me from drowning
like the sailors of old
a lucky gold dollar in my wallet
such a superstitious thing I have become
a Nazar on leather around my neck
to keep the evil eye at bay
I look over my shoulder every time I turn a corner
waiting for some monster
It's easy to laugh at it all in the light of day
but I bet tonight
I'll wrap my charms around me tight

Stars and Dust

Tracking sound is tricky
echoes bouncing off stars
I hear moons ram together
fifty thousand light years away
and my ear drums explode
playing God was a bad idea
I make bad decisions
sprinkling rain on a new born world
I pray for life to keep me company

Graphing Calculator

I see patterns
shapes
connections
geometry in nature
and in relationships
strands that link
people to places
and other people
squares, triangle
rectangles and rhombuses
the universe
engineering fate
predetermined outcomes
mathematics that
explode thoughts
inside my broken brain
equations that are
eternally computing
city streets that are perfect
in their parallels
patterns, shapes
geometry in life
love, like everything else
can be distilled down into numbers
my results show the answer is 33

St. Petersburg is Her Home

"It's such a confused language, your American English
None of you have control over it, yet you flaunt it around
pretentious and full of itself.
my native language is so beautiful"
that seductive accent slipping out of her
"But yet you choose to speak it" I retort
she laughs and it is at once beautiful and sinister
"But you my writer, you have command over your tongue
you know how to manipulate it"
She could have any man she wants. I've seen it
they fall over themselves in bars and on the street
she plays with them like a cat does it's kill
she flashes me that she is wearing no underwear under her skirt
and when she see's my skin flush
she laughs again.
"You are so good at at being aloof..I'll have you yet, sooner or later
I'll have you. I always get my way. I'll make you forget.'
If only she was right.
I sometimes think it's only the fact that I won't let her win
that she wants me.
"Your heart will heal and you'll forget her and then I will pounce."
again with that laughter
pushing her hair behind her ear she gets up and walks across the room
placing her lips on my cheek she leaves a lipstick stain
her breasts brushing my arm
she whispers something in my ear that I don't understand
something in her language
"Goodnight little poet"
and then she is gone
will I ever let someone in
will I ever feel the same
my best days seem beyond me
and love seems like a lost dream
she had said earlier that Americans are never content
we just keep searching for the next thing
except me
stuck on you
knowing that anything else is settling
I chuckle to myself
and head out to walk the night streets
looking for the next distraction
until the universe brings you back to me

Wednesday Weekend

Tonight my little circle
rallied around me
and we walked city streets for fun
our little Russian princess painted me a picture
the mysterious magician taught me
how to walk through walls
disappear just like a ghost
my little circle made me smile
even if it was a broken one
and we all drank and they toasted my talent
our rock star let me sing his song
while he played piano
they believe in me
their tortured poet
my little circle
read for me from my little red book
and some of them cried
at certain parts
and hugged me
and some of them laughed
my little circle wants so bad to see me
like they think I should be
cup half full
spinning in the street
we all celebrated art
my little circle saved me
they believe in me
even if I don't

Poetry is for Chumps

Tonight for the first time
I stood to read and nothing
Came out of me
I burst in to tears
As the room looked on in silence
Big fat tears falling on a microphone
Until my friend took me by the arm
And got me out to the street
Where pretty girls walked by
Living their pretty lives
I sob sitting on a doorstep
Philadelphia won't you please eat me whole
So I can throw away this pen
And put these thoughts to sleep
I couldn't read tonight
Couldn't face the truth
Couldn't play the role
So my friends got me home
And sit here with concern
Watching me fall apart

Tuesday

My soul twists
folds
bends
expands
freezes
and finally shatters
I type these restless words
on to a screen
and await an uncertain future
losing sleep
every night
something has changed inside me
again and again
I reinvent myself
until I don't even know
what it is like to be me
anymore
My heart breaks, chips a little more
such a tiny thing now
almost gone

Silver Salted

Monday night drunk
looking for a fight
a beer bottle
a shot
I feel dirty
starving for affection
for a touch
looking for a savior
in the bottom of a glass
a pack of wolves
in the corner booth
teeth bared, snarling
should I take my chances
I could maybe break
two noses before
I go down for the count
bruises still healing
from the last time
I was itchy
Monday night drunk
where are you
when I'm crying in the shower
rocking myself to sleep
Tuesday morning hangover
I know you'll see me soon
empty as my bed
empty as my pockets
empty as my heart
Come and fill it with a new ache
watch me shake
watch me break
and shatter like this bottle
on the first wolfs nose

As I Look At You From The Shore

My head is full of rain
My ears echo regret
I'm sorry I'm still broken hearted
Wish I could let this pain be free
But baby that just aint me
I'm not as strong as I'd like to be
Sitting with eyes full of sleep
Trying to dream,to be at peace
And these words they just pour out of me
No control of what I say
My mood swings wild
Every hour, every day

Limelight

I bought a box
of old photographs
snapshots of other peoples lives
I guess it's a form of voyeurism
spying on the past of someone I don't know
I've been sitting on park benches
watching people go by
making up stories about their lives
writing screenplays about a passing pedestrian
distractions
but none of them do the job
all the stories have someone like you in them
I see your face
your face
in all those old pictures
selling love
and selling my soul

Astro Not

Climbing a ladder to the moon
halfway up until I think of you
and all the things we should be
like happy in love
our souls so free
Three rungs higher
before I start to fall
plummeting to Earth
to break my skull
Praying for an angel
with gossamer wings
breaking rungs on down
in pain I sing
My love my love
come save me now
your heart I'll repair
I'll show you how
When I realize
I fall up and not down
out into space
where there is no sound
where there is no air
for me to sigh a sigh
no thoughts to form
or question why
and of course the last
sight I see
Is you in your beauty
loving me

Cinco

We drink for joy
we drink to cry
I drink because you aren't by my side
We drink to forget,
remember or not dream
I toast to you
my angel
Tonight I wish you were sharing
this tequila with me

Surge

A storm rages outside
and one rages in our hearts
so this poem is ending
before it starts

Board Game Surgery

I found a bag of spare parts
new heart, new eyes, new ears
to replace the faulty ones I have
and now my blood pumps in reverse
my eyes see all before me and all I left behind
my ears can hear your heart ache
miles away
I don't know how to fill this emptiness
other than with words
don't know how to put behind me the mistakes
I have made
I plead for you to come back to me
for you to be happy
sitting in a cubicle
placing wishes on other wishes
blowing butterflies higher in the clouds
walking backwards through my days
hoping to rewind the clock
put years back on the calendar
what do you do when you want
the one you can't have
my southern blood boils
in these northern veins
no matter how I change
I always remain the same
I'm yours for the taking
just say the word
and I'll be by your side

No Plans To Die Today

There are words that came out of me tonight
as I spit alcohol into a microphone
and my friends looked on in shock
we were celebrating the death of an enemy
but I...was stuck on you
falling apart in public is never pretty
but I managed to make like I was a professional at it

A Day Off

Clouds are water
but I see faces and shapes
as light filters through
rays of golden heaven
the city seems to call my name
and I follow like a rat to the pipers tune
lose myself on street corners
and alleyways
riding the train
clickety clack
then turn around
and ride it back
throwing coins into fountains
making wishes on old masters work
the city calls to me
and I lose myself in her mystery

Wizardry

Centuries old
I can hear his voice inside my head
"He is a ruthless killer, he won't hesitate to take your life"
I nod and take up my sword
incantations and incense
magic crackles around me
flowing up my spine
"Steel yourself young man, your soul will be tested"
I have never known fear
but inside I feel the serpent squeeze my heart
He has taken my love, my angel, my princess
I will use all my power, all my wits, all my knowledge
to rescue her from the beast
mounting my steed
I ride out into the darkness
power is in the words
in the words
and in the light

Sleepless Saturday / Slow Sunday

I keep beating myself up
because I'm in love with someone
that I'll never hold
I keep causing both of us hurt
without intending to
I write words to work through the pain
lay awake at night begging for sleep
sleep without dreams
days without tears
without ghosts
heavy lidded
head spinning from alcohol
my cheeks run wet

Human Voices Wake Us

We all walk past that house on Arch
the one I think is haunted
strange lights
spirits in the attic
spirits in my belly
a small crowd of drunks
laughing in the spring night
stumbling over broken sidewalks
stumbling over rehearsed words
bold as innocent children
the Russian, she sneaks a kiss on my cheek
and snatches my red notebook from my hands
finds a spot near the fountain
and starts reading out loud
cityscape as a backdrop
my poetry fills the street
we listen in awe
someone yells genius
and I blush
slipping her hand into mine
we take a bow
and find our way home
I steal a kiss
slip into sleep
and wake to sunlight
as the only companion in my bed

Questions That Will Go Unanswered

Why do I still dream of you at night
when I know deep down you are in the arms of another man
Why do I still wake in a cold sweat
with my heart racing and images
of you kissing another in my brain
Are my dreams true
or
Am I seeing a future I fear
Are you loving someone else
laughing at an others jokes
Are you missing me too
wondering if my bed is empty
if my sheets are cold
Does your heart still beat out of your chest
when you think of me
when you read this
Do you still feel my lips on yours
Am I just dreaming through life
or is all of this just the drunken
ramblings of a madman
I just don't know anymore
I'm lost without you

Cacophony

Inane chatter fills the room
people talking for the sake of talking
enjoying the sound of their own voices
their empty words
bounce off walls and
build to a dull roar
like a living engine
revving up for a wordy race
sentences competing for attention
pointless conversations
piling up on each other

Wednesday Drama

Stepping into the usual haunt
bartender smiles and pours my shot
before my ass hits my seat
I toss the liquor down
and signal for another
feeling that alcoholic warmth in my belly
Music blares from speakers in the back
"When are you going to buy me a drink?"
asks a tattooed tramp
She has been trying for weeks
to get in my bed
"You know I want you to take me home"
I smile and laugh
"Another time maybe"
I say
"The world is too full of shit right now
for a one night stand, plus haven't you slept with
all my friends?"
"Fuck you asshole" she growls back
"You think you're such hot shit, you never go
home with anyone"
"I bet you're queer!"
Here we go again
these barfly's don't take rejection well at all
"All poets are queer. You stand up there reading poems
about some girl with flaxen hair that no one knows.
She probably doesn't even exist."
I just looked at her
"Well say something, asshole!"
Slinging back my second shot
and wiping the back of my hand across my mouth
"You know this isn't the way to get me to fuck you" I shoot back
looking stunned she steps in reverse
and slaps me across the face
"Asshole" she screams one last time
and moves on to her next target
The bartender gives me a sly smile
and shakes his head
I order another drink
and think about you
You, who I would sell my soul for
If the devil didn't already own it

Disengage Locks

Seven solar systems
away
a battle rages on
they fight with weapons
never dreamed of by
human minds
titanic battle cruisers
blast holes in the hearts
of stars
particles of small moons
drift through the silence
I sit on the last planet
of the sixth solar system
observing entire races
being extinguished
brushing myself off
I dance across light years
poking my head into different dimensions
looking for that point in time and space
looking for that secret
looking for angels
waiting to be kissed again
waiting to feel arms around me again

Joy of the Saints

Somehow or another
I made it on to their list
and so one night
around 3am
they broke down my door
and hauled my semiconscious ass
out of bed
put a pillow case over my head
and beat the living shit out of me
with baseball bats, fist, feet
kicked me in the balls
dragged me out into the street
whooping and laughing
screaming at me to make a sound
to cry out
to plead
I didn't make a peep
I didn't give them the satisfaction
I was beaten to near death
left bleeding through my smile
in a dirty gutter
eventually someone got me to my apartment
it was ransacked,
I was broken
and all I could do
was laugh
One tough little motherfucker

Spring/Summer

A breeze blows my hair
into my eyes
I remember a Sunday afternoon
when you took my hand
and lead me into my bedroom
made love to me
there was magic when we touched
Our souls connected
feeding off each other
I remember how good
it felt laying there beside you
your hair between
the fingers of my right hand
your soft skin pressed
against my own
Do you remember that day?
or any others when we
were just happy to be with each other
all the cares and worries
cast aside
two people
laying together
blissfully in love

Launch Pad

Don't turn around
unless you want to see me
standing in your shadow
reaching out
missing you
seeing you smile with another
reaching out to
wipe away your tears
a shade
a distant memory
don't turn around
unless you want to
see my heart break
even though you'll hear it
echoing across the universe

Red Curtains

Time and space
are keeping us apart
reaching out through darkness
determined to make you smile
I pour out my essence
stars to wish upon

Eye Witness

Too much booze
not enough sleep
I cry in computer language
reading poems
it's too dark to think clearly
unsent emails sit
I rewrite something I'm
not brave enough to send
wiping wet cheeks
I flee
I run
I'm good at that
bravery was never my strongest
trait

Other Me

The king of mistakes
rules dusty kingdom
of anger and loss
mourning his once future queen
sleepless
on his bed of nails
writes laments to lost love
pulls petals from roses
and casts them in a well
all he wants is painted lips
on his own
instead of the poison wine
that stain his teeth
king of mistakes
emperor of regret

Recycled Dreams

Come run away with me
to a place where no one knows
the things we've said
or the pain we have felt
run away to a place where
no one can touch your heart
like I can
city streets we've never walked
new beginnings
repaired souls
sidewalk cracks
that won't break our Mother's backs

Left Arm Black Ink

I am nothing
it's tattooed on my arm
to remind me
that
without you
I am just a empty vessel
walking through a nest of vipers

Green Spring

flowers bloom
spring rain falls
tempers flare
bones brake
I question all my feelings now
all my decisions
tears run
my head swims
with beautiful images
ethereal kisses
dreams that hint
at what could have been
what should be
I hug my pillow at night
but it's a bad substitute

Caffeine Dreams

Living in a world
of steel and concrete
plastic and glass
the truth is in the blood
hearts pump visions
dreams that are collections
of stories of days
of data
processing while we sleep
digesting stress
I digress
and write the same poem over and over
with different words

Sleepless Again

This morning I raged
with the breaking dawn
screamed until my throat
was sharp as razor blades
my imagination plays
bad jokes on me
runs out of control
I borrow happiness from
people around me
but I have none of
my own
best days are just
distant footprints
in a reconstructed past
my belly burns
coming back to bleed
me dry
I run with the pack
but I am not the Alpha
I should
but you're back with him
so it's all wasted
my feet burn on the coals
while your plot unfolds
I unravel
like cheap socks
or an old baby blanket
strands of what I once was

Sentimental Pro

I feel
soulless
emotionless
loveless
heartless
disastrous
finding new
intricate
ways to
feel pain
drinking to forget
to remember
bruises
brushes of genius

Minor Chord

I killed Mr. Moonlight
for ratting me out to the cops
I blacked out all the stars
So wishes go unfulfilled
but mostly I sit on Saturn
spinning in the rings
and remembering when Pluto
was still a planet

Blue Sunday

Last night
Jesus Christ
I took two punches to the gut
and one on the chin
I'm buried in treetops
drowning in reprocessed air
laying here without a care
I'm buried in feathers
drowning in guilt
while you systematically
destroy all we built
Last Night
Jesus Christ
I took three shots to the kidneys
and begged for a broken nose
laughing through the blood
loving the pain
loving...

Vagabond

Tiny kisses draw me out of sleep
my first instinct is that it's you
but as eyes flutter open
I see a sort of beautiful semi-stranger
that I really don't remember coming home with

using my bladder as an excuse
I slip into the bathroom
waste ten minutes shaking off the hang over
trying to figure out how to politely
send her on her way
She knocks at the door and says she has to pee

I get cornered against the wall
and I'm told it was a great night
I'm a great Lover
deftly avoiding more contact
I nod and make a break for the kitchen
mortified that I am even in this situation

It must have been these thoughts of you and him
that drove my inebriated brain
to finally give in to someone
I drink another glass of ice water
promptly throw it up in the sink
wipe the sweat from my face

She comes in and puts her arms
around my waist
trapped, I try to squirm free
and finally make some bullshit excuse
to get her out of my home

She collects her things and I call a cab
on her way out she asks if I will be out tonight
I say probably
and let her kiss my cheek
I feel ruined, broken, ashamed
Bukowski revealed in his various conquests
I don't want to be a conqueror
I just want what I lost

with eyes throbbing
I write this poem
and send it out into the ether

10 Mb

circuits smoke
as processors
are overclocked
drives whine
reaching the end of
their life cycle
storing data
erasing mistakes
bits of information
electronic heart beats faster
wired brain
pushes fake feelings
to a monitor
showing pictures
more or less
memories
electric current
burning to keep me alive

Crusader

Deck 337 holds the engines
that open holes in space
so our vessel can slip from one point to another
in the blink of an eye
we open portals
charge up electron cannons
quantum mechanical properties
particles and waves
I wage war on the far reaches of the cosmos
because my heart belongs to a temptress
on a small planet in the Milky Way
splitting atoms to forget love
while she warms herself on old flames
murdering aliens and plundering technology
sensors bleat warnings
shields fall
ampules filled with liquid life
rattle on a shelf
my comrades cheer victory
while I silently wait for the next planet
drowning my sorrow in neon intoxicant

Acquiesce

I once thought that perfection was possible
but we both know that it's nothing more than a pipe dream
maybe that's why I get in bar fights now
and drink myself stupid
the jukebox sings
"Baby please come home"
and I down another shot
rack my brain for all the right words
listen to another mindless idiot
ramble on
shrug off a drunk girls advances
walk home in the rain
toss coins in fountains
place my hopes on wishes
dreams
and tired little poems that no one really reads
ramble on and on
"Baby Please Come Home"
the jukebox sings
but
"She's Long Gone"

Sandman Bring Me My Dream

Every morning I
wipe the sleep from my eyes
and shake the dreams from my hair
roll out of bed and face another day
words colliding and jumbling in my head
like 15 radio stations all being received at once
a mix of tears and laughter
I shower off the sleep sweat
and wash myself clean
letting the water soothe my aching back
rinse away the sin
toweling dry
I wipe away the steam from my mirror
and see a small piece of you
drip from my head
leading me back the the bedroom
where I dress
and remember dreams of a future that will never be

Belly Full of Booze

Do you still dream of me
the way I still dream of you
or have you put me in some box of toys
while you snuggle up to someone else
these future images that flood my mind
scenes of robots and time travel
are slight distractions
ways to not live in the present
to avoid the past
and I was angry
for awhile
at the fool you made of me
but now I just look to the future
and hate myself for not
being able to tell the truth

Cybernetics

Heart racing
every passing second
more blood is pumped
vision turns red
two more shots thunder down the alley
ricocheting off brick and mortar
trashcans rattle and fall
pulling knife from sheath
he says a final prayer
and faces nightmares
steel and bone
circuits and servos
electronic and tissue eyes

Ghosts

I was 10 or 11 standing at the doorway
of a dank dark basement
I could feel the spirits welling up out of the darkness
so much so I never ever went down there
I remember being 12 or 13 and
hearing ghostly feet going up the attic stairs
almost nightly
there are ghosts everywhere in my life
20 years ago this August
you became a ghost
watching over me
I can always feel you
almost see you on the edge
of my vision
feel your immaterial hands
holding me when I'm lost
I've been missing you lately

Reminisce

The gutters flood with debris
lost receipts, tossed paper cups
dead leaves
I jump puddles
and duck into a dry setting
the strong scent of coffee
assaults my sense of smell
I see minor twenty first century poets
huddled in a corner
typing away on their devices
laughing at their own wit
I write in a little red notebook
with a pen
Stuck in the last century
child of the 80's
born in the 70's
growing old in the new millennium

Hang Over

I was born in the house of the fish
maybe that's why I'm so bad
at walking through the fire
and better at swimming upstream

Drinkin To Not Dream

I ride wild horses in my dreams
across broken and ragged plains
chasing you on your white mare
hair flowing in the wind
three princesses kissed me tonight
all struck with stars
by words I wrote on a page
words that were about chasing
you on your white mare
across ragged and broken plains
three princesses that wanted my heart for their own
but instead I drank half a bottle of high end tequila
and now I sit here with my head swimming
and my heart in what ever trashcan you threw it in
fuck

Friday Night Poetry

"The past always comes back to haunt you.
I thought you had that figured out, I thought you were smarter than that"
then he punched me in the arm
and ordered another round
"You have these moments when you can make all of us laugh,
we know there is a great person in there. You just need to pull out of this."
I downed my tequila, chased it with a swig of Coke and shrugged
"I think you like the abuse, or the torment, or whatever it is.."
he said and punched me in the arm once more
I shrugged again
"Every time you read some girl practically throws herself at you
and you just ignore it. She isn't coming back to you and you know it."
I shrugged one last time
he was right of course
we paid the tab and slipped out the door
walked three blocks
through another door
straight to the microphone
where my drunk ass
spilled my soul to a room full of moon eyed hipsters

Literature Isn't Real

I reach out through time and space
you cut the line
before I can even plead my case
you've heard it all before anyway
all things have their time
all things die
even relationships
maybe I'm just in mourning
for what we killed

Time Drifter

They collide stars to see my heart break
I watch a man stealing wishes from a fountain
so he can fill his belly
and I don't begrudge him
stardust fills my hair
and I travel that specific timeline again
shaking cosmic cobwebs from my extremities
wishing on dwarf stars
I repeatedly try to fix my past mistakes before they happen
and each subsequent failure causes more rips in reality
monsters bleed from the heavens
people disappear
I knew better than to wreak havoc
with physics
Maybe next
time
I will
get it right

Light

Outside the window
gears grind
the city streets come to life
dawn breaks through impossibly tall glass canyons
it's cold still
steam pours from hands
cupped around paper
feeling improbably lucky
to see this living community breathe
wake
push forward
smiling like fools
we pull open the front door
and face the future

Laser Diode

The Engineer plugs in the new data
and machines churn to life
the Breach screams into being
The stars are faint
beneath the city lights
the one I wish on is faintest of all
"Keep your favorite words of mine
tattooed on your heart
and think of me when everything around you
seems lost" I told her
our lips touched
she waved and moved toward the gateway
thirty seconds and that star will be hers
there is a pulse, slight shimmer
gone
light years away
I feel her wave
turning to my work
where
spinning nanomachines
bleed my imagination into plasma art

Nostalgia #3

I remember a swing-set
in Central park in May
making love in the back of my car
on a Friday night
Sunday visits that ended with smiles and I love you
I remember the good things and push all that
other shit aside
It's easier to smile
when the storm clouds are swept away

Dusty Sneeze

Poets are poetry in motion
friction between the words
emotion given form
imagination given substance
views of beauty
ideas exchanging
thought becoming independent
I miss my muse this morning

New Genesis

You toss and turn at night
I sleep well
like the devil on Sunday morning
secure knowing that the world sinned enough on Saturday
I create life and it makes me smile
gives me purpose
worlds flow from my head
little lives
miniature suns
molecule galaxies
I hope your nightmares keep you safe
my dreams are better than that

Caution : A Small Shift Could Erase

The rain falls in slow motion
you can hear each drop like an explosion
on the pane of glass
there are a million tiny universes
colliding
in each splash
other worlds than this...

Stoop, Brownstone

"You don't know her, and you never will"
he said back
we had tried to cheer him up
and get him back to the Saturday mood
but some lyric set him off
"She is gone now, but I will always be chasing her. The idea of her.
Even though she is in another lovers arms."
the taxi arrived
we all were soaked
"You'll never know her"
he muttered one last time
his own mistakes had him on the rack
but a stiff drink waited
and we could make him laugh again

Brownstone Stoop

"Why are you still in love with her?"
he asked
"What did she fulfill in you?"
we were waiting for a taxi
it was raining
and I had gotten teary eyed
over the lyric from some song
"We all know you get these melancholy moods when she is on your mind"
and the others laughed and sighed
they didn't know her
and never would
"Why are you still in love with her?"
"What did she fulfill in you?"
he asked

Grown Up

Too tall a tale
she said
with drink in her hand
through smoky bar air
with one hundred
Conversations
going round and round us
100 conversations
about little lives
and real estate
and watering lawns
so they don't go brown

Born Too Late

Time travel is possible
I do it every day
step in to the past
and relive days gone by
like when I kissed you on your eyes
or when we said goodbye
we drift away now
until I'm a just mistake in your  history
you'll forget me
and I'll relive these days gone by
until I'm a barely audible sigh

Incomplete

I had them open up my skull
and take out the part of my brain that dreams
because it was out of control
running rampant
hurting the ones I love
waking me at night in cold sweats and
a panic

Brotherly Love

dirty paper cup
to the face
jingle jingle
spare change?
maybe a dollar?
dirty hands and tired eyes
rummy red
ass frozen from the cold concrete
unwashed hair
cardboard life
piss for perfume
I empty my pockets
and give up my lunch
put a check mark in my good karma column
sooner or later I'll pay off this debt

Queen Nahemah

I can feel a devil slipping
into bed beside me at night
caressing my hair
kissing and whispering sugary lies in my ear
walking hand in hand with me throughout
the day
smiling with pointed teeth
and that should answer your questions
about the scratch marks on my back
and the bite marks on my wrists

Everyday Poetry

Every morning I
pull your knife from my chest
and sew the wound shut
with thread made of anger
it doesn't hold
and eventually in the early
afternoon, a little blood
seeps through my shirt
through my now
patchwork rag doll
chest and I see fleeting concern
in peoples eyes
as they pass by
and say Hi
but never get too close
a stranger that will stay a stranger
sitting on a park bench
bleeding through his shirt
while the literary world
puts its head further up its own ass

Broken Ribs and a Cracked Skull

Light peeps under the crack in your door
it reminds you of those years
when you thought you loved me
you fight it back
and push it away
and dream a dream
of a different day
and snuggle closer to your ex new boyfriend

Vivid

I drink to forget
I smoke to forget
I read to forget
I play mindless video games to forget
I listen to music to forget
I put myself to sleep at night to forget
I write to forget
I fuck to forget
I stand at the corner of 15th and Walnut to forget
I cry in the corner of my room to forget
but my memory is too good
and all I can do is remember
and imagine

Untitled # 55

On a nightly basis
I make love to the bottle
and write in circles
I'm becoming my hero
grizzled, drunken
frustrated with the world
spewing out words constantly
these scars still burn at night
these feelings of purposelessness
a rug pulled from under my feet
I write in circles
poised on the threshold
waiting for the air to break

Results: Negative

words drawn into
the frost of the window
ask for release
from a glass prison
where everyone
can see
flowers blooming from your hair
lies spilling from you lips
your hand on you hips

Tequila Strong

cellphone chirps
shattering the silence
and the glass
he gave seven dollars
for a shot and half of it missed his mouth
shit talking
the man looks like a goblin and smells worse
everything is slow motion
knuckles connecting to jaw
bar stool breaking
splintering
ice and glass
blood and whiskey
pooling together
interesting cocktail
thumb to the eye socket
teeth to the wrist
angry drunk screams
shattering bone
obliterating consciousness
Now... who wants round two?

Nightshade

Sweet like sugar
melting on the tongue
lucidity only comes
as the sun sets
lunar light eases
pain
straightens thoughts
there is clarity
in being one thing
during the light of day
and another
by the dark of night
we all shiver in the frost
and wait for the full moon

Cold Sweats

Temperature rising
ocean air blows salt into
long sun kissed hair
music changes moods
from teary eyed lover boy
to angry ex-boyfriend
to lonely old man
poems fall like leaves from the trees
and litter the floor around the desk
words change hearts
and leave minds lost and
reeling
stealing
feelings
from novels
do any of us know who we truly are?

Saturday Night Snippet

"I'm afraid of this life
and afraid of this world."
he said
as we drank beer on a
Philadelphia balcony
"Well," I replied
"at least you're not a sex addict."

Temporalmental

Slipped past
the broken nose
and the sliced ear
dodged the booth brawl
you see things in your own
shade of grey
gray
silver
salt and tequila
i dont believe in love no more
no more
no more
i dont believe in love no more

Frustrated on Friday

I let these feelings go
to blow away in the wind
like the people who float in and out of my life
I lie to keep you next to me
I lie to keep my lies in order

Little Piles of Dirt

the left hand can see
five possible futures
three of them don't include you
they go streaming out
in front of my sight
and I can see multiple mes
and multiple yous
running in circles
racing the other rats
wasting talents
in cubicles and
water cooler conversations
and it makes my eyes water

Nails in My Skin

restless
plain
as day
these moments
of stress
tighten the chest
my hand on your
breast
and all
the rest

Saturday Morning Sleepy Eye

My brain screams broken glass
program edits my thoughts
faster than I type
blood boils
burning holes in my heart
your up draft
put me in a tailspin
and this tree house
deserted jungle island
lifestyle
makes me stir crazy with every passing second

Happy Birthday

This may be the last poem
This pen ever writes
Take my poetic voice
And seal it shut tight
Ignore the dreams
That occupy my night
And live in fear
Of my ever growing fright