Human Voices Wake Us

We all walk past that house on Arch
the one I think is haunted
strange lights
spirits in the attic
spirits in my belly
a small crowd of drunks
laughing in the spring night
stumbling over broken sidewalks
stumbling over rehearsed words
bold as innocent children
the Russian, she sneaks a kiss on my cheek
and snatches my red notebook from my hands
finds a spot near the fountain
and starts reading out loud
cityscape as a backdrop
my poetry fills the street
we listen in awe
someone yells genius
and I blush
slipping her hand into mine
we take a bow
and find our way home
I steal a kiss
slip into sleep
and wake to sunlight
as the only companion in my bed

Questions That Will Go Unanswered

Why do I still dream of you at night
when I know deep down you are in the arms of another man
Why do I still wake in a cold sweat
with my heart racing and images
of you kissing another in my brain
Are my dreams true
or
Am I seeing a future I fear
Are you loving someone else
laughing at an others jokes
Are you missing me too
wondering if my bed is empty
if my sheets are cold
Does your heart still beat out of your chest
when you think of me
when you read this
Do you still feel my lips on yours
Am I just dreaming through life
or is all of this just the drunken
ramblings of a madman
I just don't know anymore
I'm lost without you

Cacophony

Inane chatter fills the room
people talking for the sake of talking
enjoying the sound of their own voices
their empty words
bounce off walls and
build to a dull roar
like a living engine
revving up for a wordy race
sentences competing for attention
pointless conversations
piling up on each other

Wednesday Drama

Stepping into the usual haunt
bartender smiles and pours my shot
before my ass hits my seat
I toss the liquor down
and signal for another
feeling that alcoholic warmth in my belly
Music blares from speakers in the back
"When are you going to buy me a drink?"
asks a tattooed tramp
She has been trying for weeks
to get in my bed
"You know I want you to take me home"
I smile and laugh
"Another time maybe"
I say
"The world is too full of shit right now
for a one night stand, plus haven't you slept with
all my friends?"
"Fuck you asshole" she growls back
"You think you're such hot shit, you never go
home with anyone"
"I bet you're queer!"
Here we go again
these barfly's don't take rejection well at all
"All poets are queer. You stand up there reading poems
about some girl with flaxen hair that no one knows.
She probably doesn't even exist."
I just looked at her
"Well say something, asshole!"
Slinging back my second shot
and wiping the back of my hand across my mouth
"You know this isn't the way to get me to fuck you" I shoot back
looking stunned she steps in reverse
and slaps me across the face
"Asshole" she screams one last time
and moves on to her next target
The bartender gives me a sly smile
and shakes his head
I order another drink
and think about you
You, who I would sell my soul for
If the devil didn't already own it

Disengage Locks

Seven solar systems
away
a battle rages on
they fight with weapons
never dreamed of by
human minds
titanic battle cruisers
blast holes in the hearts
of stars
particles of small moons
drift through the silence
I sit on the last planet
of the sixth solar system
observing entire races
being extinguished
brushing myself off
I dance across light years
poking my head into different dimensions
looking for that point in time and space
looking for that secret
looking for angels
waiting to be kissed again
waiting to feel arms around me again

Joy of the Saints

Somehow or another
I made it on to their list
and so one night
around 3am
they broke down my door
and hauled my semiconscious ass
out of bed
put a pillow case over my head
and beat the living shit out of me
with baseball bats, fist, feet
kicked me in the balls
dragged me out into the street
whooping and laughing
screaming at me to make a sound
to cry out
to plead
I didn't make a peep
I didn't give them the satisfaction
I was beaten to near death
left bleeding through my smile
in a dirty gutter
eventually someone got me to my apartment
it was ransacked,
I was broken
and all I could do
was laugh
One tough little motherfucker

Spring/Summer

A breeze blows my hair
into my eyes
I remember a Sunday afternoon
when you took my hand
and lead me into my bedroom
made love to me
there was magic when we touched
Our souls connected
feeding off each other
I remember how good
it felt laying there beside you
your hair between
the fingers of my right hand
your soft skin pressed
against my own
Do you remember that day?
or any others when we
were just happy to be with each other
all the cares and worries
cast aside
two people
laying together
blissfully in love

Launch Pad

Don't turn around
unless you want to see me
standing in your shadow
reaching out
missing you
seeing you smile with another
reaching out to
wipe away your tears
a shade
a distant memory
don't turn around
unless you want to
see my heart break
even though you'll hear it
echoing across the universe

Red Curtains

Time and space
are keeping us apart
reaching out through darkness
determined to make you smile
I pour out my essence
stars to wish upon

Eye Witness

Too much booze
not enough sleep
I cry in computer language
reading poems
it's too dark to think clearly
unsent emails sit
I rewrite something I'm
not brave enough to send
wiping wet cheeks
I flee
I run
I'm good at that
bravery was never my strongest
trait

Other Me

The king of mistakes
rules dusty kingdom
of anger and loss
mourning his once future queen
sleepless
on his bed of nails
writes laments to lost love
pulls petals from roses
and casts them in a well
all he wants is painted lips
on his own
instead of the poison wine
that stain his teeth
king of mistakes
emperor of regret

Recycled Dreams

Come run away with me
to a place where no one knows
the things we've said
or the pain we have felt
run away to a place where
no one can touch your heart
like I can
city streets we've never walked
new beginnings
repaired souls
sidewalk cracks
that won't break our Mother's backs

Left Arm Black Ink

I am nothing
it's tattooed on my arm
to remind me
that
without you
I am just a empty vessel
walking through a nest of vipers

Green Spring

flowers bloom
spring rain falls
tempers flare
bones brake
I question all my feelings now
all my decisions
tears run
my head swims
with beautiful images
ethereal kisses
dreams that hint
at what could have been
what should be
I hug my pillow at night
but it's a bad substitute

Caffeine Dreams

Living in a world
of steel and concrete
plastic and glass
the truth is in the blood
hearts pump visions
dreams that are collections
of stories of days
of data
processing while we sleep
digesting stress
I digress
and write the same poem over and over
with different words

Sleepless Again

This morning I raged
with the breaking dawn
screamed until my throat
was sharp as razor blades
my imagination plays
bad jokes on me
runs out of control
I borrow happiness from
people around me
but I have none of
my own
best days are just
distant footprints
in a reconstructed past
my belly burns
coming back to bleed
me dry
I run with the pack
but I am not the Alpha
I should
but you're back with him
so it's all wasted
my feet burn on the coals
while your plot unfolds
I unravel
like cheap socks
or an old baby blanket
strands of what I once was

Sentimental Pro

I feel
soulless
emotionless
loveless
heartless
disastrous
finding new
intricate
ways to
feel pain
drinking to forget
to remember
bruises
brushes of genius

Minor Chord

I killed Mr. Moonlight
for ratting me out to the cops
I blacked out all the stars
So wishes go unfulfilled
but mostly I sit on Saturn
spinning in the rings
and remembering when Pluto
was still a planet

Blue Sunday

Last night
Jesus Christ
I took two punches to the gut
and one on the chin
I'm buried in treetops
drowning in reprocessed air
laying here without a care
I'm buried in feathers
drowning in guilt
while you systematically
destroy all we built
Last Night
Jesus Christ
I took three shots to the kidneys
and begged for a broken nose
laughing through the blood
loving the pain
loving...

Vagabond

Tiny kisses draw me out of sleep
my first instinct is that it's you
but as eyes flutter open
I see a sort of beautiful semi-stranger
that I really don't remember coming home with

using my bladder as an excuse
I slip into the bathroom
waste ten minutes shaking off the hang over
trying to figure out how to politely
send her on her way
She knocks at the door and says she has to pee

I get cornered against the wall
and I'm told it was a great night
I'm a great Lover
deftly avoiding more contact
I nod and make a break for the kitchen
mortified that I am even in this situation

It must have been these thoughts of you and him
that drove my inebriated brain
to finally give in to someone
I drink another glass of ice water
promptly throw it up in the sink
wipe the sweat from my face

She comes in and puts her arms
around my waist
trapped, I try to squirm free
and finally make some bullshit excuse
to get her out of my home

She collects her things and I call a cab
on her way out she asks if I will be out tonight
I say probably
and let her kiss my cheek
I feel ruined, broken, ashamed
Bukowski revealed in his various conquests
I don't want to be a conqueror
I just want what I lost

with eyes throbbing
I write this poem
and send it out into the ether

10 Mb

circuits smoke
as processors
are overclocked
drives whine
reaching the end of
their life cycle
storing data
erasing mistakes
bits of information
electronic heart beats faster
wired brain
pushes fake feelings
to a monitor
showing pictures
more or less
memories
electric current
burning to keep me alive

Crusader

Deck 337 holds the engines
that open holes in space
so our vessel can slip from one point to another
in the blink of an eye
we open portals
charge up electron cannons
quantum mechanical properties
particles and waves
I wage war on the far reaches of the cosmos
because my heart belongs to a temptress
on a small planet in the Milky Way
splitting atoms to forget love
while she warms herself on old flames
murdering aliens and plundering technology
sensors bleat warnings
shields fall
ampules filled with liquid life
rattle on a shelf
my comrades cheer victory
while I silently wait for the next planet
drowning my sorrow in neon intoxicant

Acquiesce

I once thought that perfection was possible
but we both know that it's nothing more than a pipe dream
maybe that's why I get in bar fights now
and drink myself stupid
the jukebox sings
"Baby please come home"
and I down another shot
rack my brain for all the right words
listen to another mindless idiot
ramble on
shrug off a drunk girls advances
walk home in the rain
toss coins in fountains
place my hopes on wishes
dreams
and tired little poems that no one really reads
ramble on and on
"Baby Please Come Home"
the jukebox sings
but
"She's Long Gone"

Sandman Bring Me My Dream

Every morning I
wipe the sleep from my eyes
and shake the dreams from my hair
roll out of bed and face another day
words colliding and jumbling in my head
like 15 radio stations all being received at once
a mix of tears and laughter
I shower off the sleep sweat
and wash myself clean
letting the water soothe my aching back
rinse away the sin
toweling dry
I wipe away the steam from my mirror
and see a small piece of you
drip from my head
leading me back the the bedroom
where I dress
and remember dreams of a future that will never be

Belly Full of Booze

Do you still dream of me
the way I still dream of you
or have you put me in some box of toys
while you snuggle up to someone else
these future images that flood my mind
scenes of robots and time travel
are slight distractions
ways to not live in the present
to avoid the past
and I was angry
for awhile
at the fool you made of me
but now I just look to the future
and hate myself for not
being able to tell the truth

Cybernetics

Heart racing
every passing second
more blood is pumped
vision turns red
two more shots thunder down the alley
ricocheting off brick and mortar
trashcans rattle and fall
pulling knife from sheath
he says a final prayer
and faces nightmares
steel and bone
circuits and servos
electronic and tissue eyes

Ghosts

I was 10 or 11 standing at the doorway
of a dank dark basement
I could feel the spirits welling up out of the darkness
so much so I never ever went down there
I remember being 12 or 13 and
hearing ghostly feet going up the attic stairs
almost nightly
there are ghosts everywhere in my life
20 years ago this August
you became a ghost
watching over me
I can always feel you
almost see you on the edge
of my vision
feel your immaterial hands
holding me when I'm lost
I've been missing you lately

Reminisce

The gutters flood with debris
lost receipts, tossed paper cups
dead leaves
I jump puddles
and duck into a dry setting
the strong scent of coffee
assaults my sense of smell
I see minor twenty first century poets
huddled in a corner
typing away on their devices
laughing at their own wit
I write in a little red notebook
with a pen
Stuck in the last century
child of the 80's
born in the 70's
growing old in the new millennium

Hang Over

I was born in the house of the fish
maybe that's why I'm so bad
at walking through the fire
and better at swimming upstream

Drinkin To Not Dream

I ride wild horses in my dreams
across broken and ragged plains
chasing you on your white mare
hair flowing in the wind
three princesses kissed me tonight
all struck with stars
by words I wrote on a page
words that were about chasing
you on your white mare
across ragged and broken plains
three princesses that wanted my heart for their own
but instead I drank half a bottle of high end tequila
and now I sit here with my head swimming
and my heart in what ever trashcan you threw it in
fuck

Friday Night Poetry

"The past always comes back to haunt you.
I thought you had that figured out, I thought you were smarter than that"
then he punched me in the arm
and ordered another round
"You have these moments when you can make all of us laugh,
we know there is a great person in there. You just need to pull out of this."
I downed my tequila, chased it with a swig of Coke and shrugged
"I think you like the abuse, or the torment, or whatever it is.."
he said and punched me in the arm once more
I shrugged again
"Every time you read some girl practically throws herself at you
and you just ignore it. She isn't coming back to you and you know it."
I shrugged one last time
he was right of course
we paid the tab and slipped out the door
walked three blocks
through another door
straight to the microphone
where my drunk ass
spilled my soul to a room full of moon eyed hipsters

Literature Isn't Real

I reach out through time and space
you cut the line
before I can even plead my case
you've heard it all before anyway
all things have their time
all things die
even relationships
maybe I'm just in mourning
for what we killed

Time Drifter

They collide stars to see my heart break
I watch a man stealing wishes from a fountain
so he can fill his belly
and I don't begrudge him
stardust fills my hair
and I travel that specific timeline again
shaking cosmic cobwebs from my extremities
wishing on dwarf stars
I repeatedly try to fix my past mistakes before they happen
and each subsequent failure causes more rips in reality
monsters bleed from the heavens
people disappear
I knew better than to wreak havoc
with physics
Maybe next
time
I will
get it right

Light

Outside the window
gears grind
the city streets come to life
dawn breaks through impossibly tall glass canyons
it's cold still
steam pours from hands
cupped around paper
feeling improbably lucky
to see this living community breathe
wake
push forward
smiling like fools
we pull open the front door
and face the future

Laser Diode

The Engineer plugs in the new data
and machines churn to life
the Breach screams into being
The stars are faint
beneath the city lights
the one I wish on is faintest of all
"Keep your favorite words of mine
tattooed on your heart
and think of me when everything around you
seems lost" I told her
our lips touched
she waved and moved toward the gateway
thirty seconds and that star will be hers
there is a pulse, slight shimmer
gone
light years away
I feel her wave
turning to my work
where
spinning nanomachines
bleed my imagination into plasma art

Nostalgia #3

I remember a swing-set
in Central park in May
making love in the back of my car
on a Friday night
Sunday visits that ended with smiles and I love you
I remember the good things and push all that
other shit aside
It's easier to smile
when the storm clouds are swept away

Dusty Sneeze

Poets are poetry in motion
friction between the words
emotion given form
imagination given substance
views of beauty
ideas exchanging
thought becoming independent
I miss my muse this morning

New Genesis

You toss and turn at night
I sleep well
like the devil on Sunday morning
secure knowing that the world sinned enough on Saturday
I create life and it makes me smile
gives me purpose
worlds flow from my head
little lives
miniature suns
molecule galaxies
I hope your nightmares keep you safe
my dreams are better than that