Shards of the Glass Rainbow

I sit here
breathing out my cancer into the air
while the elderly pound away at my door
1:00 am
I can see her there
through the blue unfiltered haze
And I want to touch her with all my heart
but it is never quiet

And I feel so dirty
inhale, exhale
forever breathing this air

Here I sit
scribbling my nerves on paper
watching her perfect form

2:00 am
lying here beside her
the warmth of her touch

And I'm so dirty
polluted with my poison
that seems to burn all I touch

The phone sex vampire
tried to claim me over the receiver

Free Me

There is a boy in black
outside my window
making love to his coat
As she strokes my mind gently
and lets me hold on

The paper cuts my finger
the knife burns my heart
I feel like I'm stopping
before it even starts

3:00 am
the stars shine so brightly
the moon burns my skin
I want to kiss you slowly
savor your gentle touch

Here I sit
exhaling my cancer into the air
through clouds of smokey Death
I see you lying there
no more elderly to knock away the silence
no more phone sex temptress to steal away my love
no more nightmares of glass
all shattered
I sit here
watching you, kissing you
if only in my mind
if only in my head


October 1994