Cold Day In May

I came home
to
ants
crawling in my
bathroom
and my
heart
still beating
and broken
on the floor

As I pour
my life
out
through this
pen
I feel like
everything is moving
changing
shifting
and I'm
stuck
in the same
place
and
time

And my feelings
are all jumbled
in my stomach
and my chest
is filled
with
dust

And there are
ants
in my bathroom
and a toilet
that always runs
like my mind
never stopping
never ceasing

While
my heart
lies bruised
and broken
on the living room
floor
pumping my life
blood into the carpet

My dog barks
at shadows
my dreams
are thin blue
visions
or hard red
nightmares

and there are
ants
crawling
in my
brain
and eating
away at my
core

And I love
And I Love
AND I LOVE

And I lose
And I Lose
AND I LOSE

my heart lies
broken on the floor
pumping my very
soul into
the cold
recycled
air